Chickens

Well, here we are my little friends, end of another week and what have we gotten done. Crabdaddy gotten nothin done, he mean nothin.

Biggest thing Crabdaddy do is go to town one day wit Jellyfish.

Jellyfish had to see this guy he knew who’s brother has a friend who knew dis guy who lived next door to dis old lady who”s husband’s brother has a horsey for sale that Jellyfish might want to buy if he ever get more than $2  to his name.

Anyway we sittin in the truck waitin on , hell Crabdaddy don’t really know, and all these chickens runnin around. Musta been a dozen or more. And that set Crabdaddy to thinkin.  Was the Good Lord goin for “form” or “function” when He made chickens?  Was the Good Lord in a good mood when He made em and He just made em look like they do for kicks and giggles or was He in a bad mood and he wanted to just get done.  Crabdaddy do not know.

And besides lookin dumb they are dumb.  This one chicken, he just runnin around like somethin chasin him.  Crabdaddy and Jellyfish just got to laughin at him runnin here and there.  I mean it not like he had to “be” somewhere or even “do” somethin when he got there. He just a dumb @ss chicken, but Crabdaddy and Jellyfish kinda liked the little guy.  Heck we even thought bout takin him home to play with Shezam.

Crabdaddy kinda wish we had taken him home……………. then maybe we wouldn’t have run over him when we left. Crabdaddy felt bad about dat.  Dumb @ss chicken.

Have a good weekend, Crabdaddy catch you down the road.

Cookin Wit Coconuts! or Dat Swine Flew!

So Crabdaddy had a pretty normal weekend. Crabmommy spent the weekend wit her friends so Jellyfish came over to keep Crabdaddy company.

There wasn’t much food in the Crabshack so Crabdaddy & Jellyfish run down Friday afternoon and picked up 7 pizzas. We figured dat would get us through the weekend witout cookin.

Well Friday night Re-Re- and Ya-Ya come over and we all havin pizza and beer and we got to talkin and everything and the subject come up bout cookin stuff. And Jellyfish say he saw this TV show bout how to cook a pig in a fire pit. And he tells us how to build the pit and line it wit hot coals and rocks and stuff then you put in dat piggy, cover it wit some stuff and let it cook for bout 12 hours or so.

Well, we had enough beers to where this sound simple, so we figure we start early Saturday.

So Saturday mornin Jellyfish tell Re-Re and Ya-Ya what exactly to do to build the pit and start the fire while Crabdaddy and Jellyfish go get the pig ready at Jellyfish’s house.

Now here where our plan hit a snag. Jellyfish knew you can’t use river rocks in a fire pit. You really not supposed to use any rock dat has been under water cause it might blow up if it got any water inside it. So Jellyfish tell the boys to line the bottom of the pit wit coconuts instead. He figure coconuts will burn and the milk inside dem will give off steam to keep the piggy moist as it cookin. (Crabdaddy was not around when Jellyfish explain this to the boys you understand. If he had been Crabdaddy might have picked up on this flaw in the plan. )

So anyway, few hours later Crabdaddy and Jellyfish get back wit the piggy. The fire in the pit ready so we put the piggy in, cover him up, and the 4 of us sit back on the patio wit a cooler full of beer and high expectations of the meal we gonna have.

After about 4 hours, and a lotta beer, we see the ground kinda raise up a little and hear a kinda muffled sound, but we figure it normal. After all we ain’t never done this before.

We know now it was the first coconut blowing up. It would have been ok if they had gone off one at a time, but they didn’t.

The next sound we heard was about 30 or 40 coconuts blowin up at once.

It blew dat dang piggy outta the pit and up over the house somewhere. Crabdaddy never knew a coconut was so powerful. (Homeland Security may wanna look into this coconut threat potential.)

So we all run around the house in time to see Crabmommy steppin outa the truck just as piggy landin.

She looked at piggy then she looked at us, then she got back in the truck with out sayin a word and drive off.

I hope she come back soon, we runnin outta ideas and pizza.

It Friday!

It Friday, course it kinda hard for Crabdaddy to tell anymore.  But Crabdaddy think he heard somebody say it was so he gonna go wit that.

Hope every both of you readers have a good weekend, Crabdaddy gonna try.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy see you sometime next week, Good Lord willin.

Walkin Iggy!

Ok, so nothin been goin on here so Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy decided we gonna take Iggy out for a walk like dat girl Crabdaddy saw walkin dat piggy on the beach. We gonna get Iggy used to the leash. Dat right, we gonna train him.

Well let me tell you somethin my little friend dat piggy took to walkin like nothin Crabdaddy ever seen. Iggy loved it. The three of us, Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, & Iggy, go right out the gate and right down the hill. And we keep goin and goin and goin and Iggy lovin it but Crabdaddy worried cause he can’t stop Iggy cause the hill to steep and Iggy to strong. And Crabdoggy ain’t no help at all. He just keep barkin and runnin circles round Iggy and Crabdaddy. He havin a great time.

So finally we get down to the little store at the bottom of the hill. It about 2 maybe 3 kilometers from home. We all tired so we sit down to rest and Re-Re and Ya-Ya come out of the store.

Well we have a nice chat wit the boys and Crabdaddy figure we all rested so it time to head back. Problem is Iggy ain’t movin. He just sittin and he ain’t gettin up, and he sure as hell ain’t walkin “up” the hill.

So Crabdaddy tell the boys to watch Iggy while he & Crabdoggy go back and get the truck.

Takes bout an hour and a half to walk back, get the truck and get back.

Dat give Iggy plenty of time to chew through the rope dat Re-Re & Ya-Ya tied him to the tree wit while they was inside playin a video game, and then wander off.

So we all load up in the truck and go lookin for Iggy.

Well it don’t take long for we see Woobie comin down the road wit Iggy. Woobie say he bringin Iggy back cause he figure Iggy wandered off.

It took all of us to get Iggy back in the truck, but we managed and finally got Iggy home wit no problems.

Like Crabdaddy said, they ain’t nothin  new goin on around here.

Day 4, Nothin.

Day 4, nothin goin on.

One of Crabdaddy problems is all dis dang rain.  5 cm ysterday, fixin to rain now.  When it rain Crabdaddy got no internet.

Crabdaddy know bout save and “off line” and all dat.  It just Crabdaddy keep losin his train of thought.  Crabmommy say Crabdaddy missed dat train a long time ago.

Did go to Jaco yesterday and see a girl walkin a pig on a leash along the sidewalk on the beach.  Big pig, musta been 120 lbs or more.  Little girl, couldn’t look close enough to get a weight on her cause Crabmommy right there.  Crabdoggy didn’t care much, he used to walkin wit Iggy.

Crabdaddy gonna go now and concentrate or rememberin somethin worth writin bout.  He be back soon he hope.

Pura Vida!

“Nothin”, Day 3.

Well, nothin still  goin on here.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy caught a bunch of froggy’s last night and watched dat “Get Me Outta Here Show”, at least as much as we could stand.

Will keep you posted if anythin happens but for now it pretty quiet.

Pura Vida!

Zip, Nada, Nothin!

Dat was the weekend. “zip, nada, nothing”. Crabdaddy didn’t see nobody, didn’t talk to nobody, nothin.

We had bout 7 centimeters of rain. Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy caught bout 38 froggys and dat was it.

Crabdaddy been readin some books and stuff and dat good but come on, if Crabdaddy get too educated people start expectin more, and dat ain’t good. Crabdaddy got dat” bar” right where it supposed to be.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy just gonna hang here and we let you know soon as somethin happens.

Pura Vida.

Long Week.

Crabdaddy know it was only 4 days for some of you, but don’t it seem like it was a long week? It sure was for Crabdaddy.

Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy think they gonna just rest until Monday. Crabdoggy already started.

Crabdaddy hope all both of you have a good time this weekend.

Good Lord willin Crabdaddy see you next week.

Reap and Sow, Reap and Sow, Remember Dat.

So the other day Crabdaddy took Jellyfish to town to buy some pig food and Crabdaddy waitin outside in the parkin lot leanin up against some car when these two stray dogs come walkin over to Crabdaddy lookin real hungry. Well Crabdaddy always say a doggy can tell who likes em and who don’t. (Remember this, it goona come up.)

Well these doggy’s look real hungry but all Crabdaddy got is 4 or 5 banana’s but he figure what the heck, we see if these doggy’s like banana’s. Well sure enough they did. Ate everyone of dem banana’s. Bout the time these doggy’s gettin through eatin this fancy car pulls up and out jumps a real “smart @ss” American guy in a hurry. He kinda kicks one of the doggy’s outa his way and tells Crabdaddy he need to keep his d@mn dogs in the car and keeps walkin.

Well Crabdaddy get to thinkin bout it and he figure the guy is right, one of these doggy’s might get run over or somethin. Now when the guy hopped outa his car the seat belt kinda fell out and the car didn’t lock when he hit the remote lock. So Crabdaddy kinda ease the door open and throw a banana peal in along wit them doggy’s. Now the guy had also left the windows cracked so Crabdaddy sure them doggy’s be all right for a while.

Crabdaddy see jellyfish comin out in a little while so he ease on over to the truck bout the time the smart @ss comin outa the store. Well first off them doggy’s ain’t gonna let the smart @ss back in his car. They start growlin a barkin and then they start foamin at the mouth. Then dem banana’s musta kicked in cause they start foamin at both ends.

It amazin what kinda mess two doggy’s dat just ate four banana’s can make in a hot car. Them doggy’s worked in perfect tandem. One would be barkin at the guy while the other one was bein sick, then they would swap, back and forth. Dem doggy’s had to have eaten a lot of something before they ate dem banana’s.

Smart @ss guy just standin there holdin his six pack of Corona’s lookin in disbelief at his fancy car wit dem two stray, pissed, sick doggy’s inside. Crabdaddy just eased the truck by him and said “dem wern’t my doggy’s. “Have a nice day.”

They still there as we drove outta site.

Woobie Got the Crazy Eye.

Ok, so other mornin Crabdaddy ride the mule up the mountain to dump the sack of froggy’s he  and Crabdoggy caught the night before when he ran into Woobie comin down the road carrin the biggest chain saw you ever did see.

Woobie a real good boy, not real bright (“my daddy’s my cousin sorta dumb”) but the one thing you notice right off is Woobie’s eyes. He got the crazy eye. One look one way and the other one the other way. Woobie can look two different people in the eye at the same time. PPP got a little pug dog got eyes like dat always turnin her head to try and look at you.

Anyway Woobie goin to this boys house to cut some wood so Crabdaddy say he give him a ride on the mule if it not too far. Crabdady don’t know the boy but figure it can’t be too far if Woobie walkin.

So we go a little ways till we come to the first road you can turn on and Woobie say “turn here”, then the next road you can turn on and he say “turn here” then the next and the next and we just keep turnin at every road you can turn on. We would be going in circles cept we turnin right and left. After bout an hour  Crabdaddy stop the mule and we get off cause Crabdaddy’s @ss is tired.

Crabdaddy ask Woobie how much farther it is and Woobie not real sure, say he only been to the  boys house once and dat was at night and it was rainin and he was ridin in the back of somebody’s truck. ………………Shit.  Dat explains it. Wit dem crazy eye’s Woobie got and he was probably facin backwards in dat truck it can only mean one thing. Dat Right. We ain’t never gonna find dis boy’s house wit Woobie directin .

Anyway Woobie lookin all around tryin to see somethin he remember. This don’t take long cause Woobie can look in two directions at once when here come a friend of Crabdaddy’s on his horse. Crabdaddy don’t know what his real name is, Crabdaddy just call him “Sud’s, cause he always havin a beer or goin to get one. Well Sud’s says he knows the boy Woobie lookin for and will be glad to take him there, it right on the way to a local bar. Big surprise there.

So we load Woobie and his chain saw onto the horse wit Sud’s and off they go. How could anything else go wrong wit this plan? Crabdaddy just glad he gonna miss it.

When Crabdaddy get home after been gone 3 hours on a 10 minute trip Crabmommy watchin TV. Crabdaddy kinda afraid she be mad so he say “hope you wasn’t worried”. Crabmommy didn’t even look away from the TV, “nope, figured you went somewhere with one of your dumb friends”.

How she always know what goin on.

Proud of Crabdoggy.

Ok, so other night Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy sittin out in the truck listinin to Bob Marley and havin some beers.

Crabdoggy had been to his doctor earlier and the doc say “Crabdoggy you are free of dat fungus still”. Dat was music to our ears.

So Crabdaddy told Crabdoggy while we sittin in the truck how proud he was of him dat he beatin dat old fungus and also dat he didn’t try to bite the new kid helpin the doc. Crabdoggy just looked at Crabdaddy and kinda smiled like he do when somethin up.

So we had a couple more beers den Crabdoggy look up at Crabdaddy and say “Next visit I gonna find out if he taste like chicken, the last helper did, I just lullin him into thinkin I don’t bite. Next trip his @ss is mine.”

Least dat what Crabdaddy think he said……….sounds bout right, we see soon enough.

Stupid Jellyfish.

Crabdaddy oughtta just quit lettin Jellyfish talk him into this stuff.

So Saturday we take the wood to Jellyfish’s guy in Jaco who gonna buy it. Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, Jellyfish, Re-Re, and Ya-Ya, we all go. We get there and the guy ain’t home. He rode his horse down to get a part for his car, so we wait. Bout an hour goes by before he comes back. Well, he still want the wood, but he spent some of the $60 on the car part. So all he got is $23 and a goat. He didn’t even get through tellin us before Jellyfish say “we take it”. Stupid Jellyfish.

“What the hell we gonna do wit a goat Jellyfish?” “Crabdaddy don’t eat goat, he don’t drink goat milk and he ain’t makin cheese, so what the hell we gonna do wit a goat?”

These were Crabdaddy’s exact words.

Well Jellyfish figure we could use the goat to clear land wit, you know stake it out in the jungle and let it eat the brush clear then move the goat. Crabdaddy tell Jellyfish dat brilliant, cept SOMETHIN GONNA EAT THE D@MN GOAT!

Anyway we load up, Crabdaddy and Jellyfish in the cab, Re-Re, Ya-Ya, the goat and Crabdoggy in the bed of the truck. Yeah Crabdoggy wanna ride wit the goat. Crabdaddy knew better than to let Crabdoggy back there but he did it anyway.

We get right in the middle of Jaco and dat goat had enough of Crabdoggy sayin “hello” and dumb @ss Ya-Ya & Re-Re not holdin the goat rope too good, they busy lookin at all the girls and hollerin and the dang goat decides he leavin.

The goat jumps out and heads right into a restaurant filled wit folks eatin and drinkin and not expectin to see a goat run in wit two dumb @ss boys and Crabdoggy chasin it. Dinner and a show. The mess dat goat made in such a short amount of time was amazin.

Between Crabdaddy and Jellyfish we had $87 countin the $23 we got for the wood. Just enough so the guy from the restaurant agreed to let us go but we had to promise to bring him another $13 to make it an even hundred. He wanted to keep the goat until we came back wit the rest of the money, then we could have the goat back.

So we all get back in the truck minus the goat and all our money and head back to Jellyfish’s house only to find the guy that gave Jellyfish the wood waitin on us and he pissed. Says he didn’t tell Jellyfish he could “have ” the wood and he wants his wood back or to be paid for it. Jellyfish tells the guy the story and explains we ain’t got the wood, or any money, but we could swap him a goat for it in bout 2 hours.

This guy dumber than Jellyfish, he say “ok”.

So now we gotta come up wit $13 to get the goat back and the only person wit that kinda cash is Crabmommy. So here we go.

First thing she wanna know is what Crabdaddy need the money for. Then she look outside and see Jellyfish, Ya-Ya, Re-Re- and Crabdoggy waitin the the truck. Crabdaddy say “you really wanna ask?”, she give Crabdaddy $20 and one of dem looks.

So we go back to get the goat and the guy wants $20 to give him back to us. Says he didn’t figure we was plannin on comin back for the goat (He was right there) and the price went up. We told him all we had was $20 and we needed gas so we settled on the original $13 and he sold us $3 worth of gas for $7. (Screwed again.)

So back we go to Jellyfish’s house wit the goat and sure enough the guy is waitin on us. First thing the guy says is “I thought it was two goats”.

Crabdaddy put Crabdoggy in the truck and we head home. They still arguing as Crabdaddy drove outta site. Hell, Jellyfish can give dat guy Ya-Ya for all he care Crabdaddy done wit this deal.

How is your Memorial weekend goin ?

We Plan Ahead.

Dat right, Crabdaddy and Jellyfish plan ahead. Dat why we don’t have anything to do today.

Saturday we takin a load of wood to this boy Jellyfish know in Jaco. He gonna pay us $60 which is pretty good since Jellyfish got the wood for free from this guy he know who asked him to move it. Re-Re and Ya-Ya probably goin too cause dem boys really plan ahead.

Now takin Re-Re- and Ya-Ya to Jaco is kinda like puttin a kid in a toy store and tellin him “don’t touch anything”. He gonna do it so you better be ready. Jaco is a nice town, you can get anything you want there, and catch a few things you don’t want, so Crabdaddy and Jellyfish gonna haveta watch dem boys.

Crabdaddy hope all both you readers have a good weekend and good Lord willin we be back Monday to see how you doin and let you know bout the trip to Jaco!

Get Me Outta Here!

Ok, Crabdaddy see where they a new game show comin. They gonna drop these celebrity folks in the jungle in Costa Rica and Crabdaddy guess they gonna try and get out.

These people gonna die.

Now if dey got enough camera people around wit bug spray, machetes , shovels, sticks, and serum dey might be ok for a little while. If all de camera people don’t die first. But Crabdaddy live in Costa Rica……..these people gonna die.

Now don’t get Crabdaddy wrong, he love Costa Rica! But Crabdaddy not goin out into the jungle at night.

Bugs, you ain’t seen bugs till you turned on a light at night and watched dem bugs come to it. “So don’t turn on a light” you say. Ok, snakes don’t like lights so you pick, lights -wit bugs, no lights- wit snakes!

Well “Bear Grills can survive” you say. Watch dat show, that d@mn fool will eat anything, plus dey about 400 camera people on dat show wit life expectancy of 10 days……..maybe.

Well dat all Crabdaddy gonna say bout dis show, we just wait and see. And Crabdaddy don’t wanna see nobody get hurt. But if you dumb enough to let somebody drop your dumb @ss in the Costa Rican jungle then Crabdaddy ain’t got nothin to say to you cept “adios!”

Mr. Happy

While Crabdaddy on his trip back we ran into Mr. Happy’s cousin Senor Happy who came up from Mexico for a visit. Senor Happy was so worried bout the flu we couldn’t get him to take his mask off. We all had a wonderful time and nobody got dat flu.

Campesino!

If you like most people when you think of Costa Rica you think “sun, sand, and surf” .

Well Crabdaddy gonna add a fourth thing to dat list!

Vodka! Dat right, Vodka! “Campesino Vodka” to be exact, it made right here in Costa Rica.

Crabdaddy found dis Campesino at MegaSuper the other day, first time he seen it so he had to try it. It was like $6 for a half gallon which is more than Crabdaddy normally spend but he figure he try it.

Let Crabdaddy tell you little friends, it like fine wine. It mix real good wit the Fanta Grape, which is quite refreshing by itself, so it is the perfect vodka for dat soon to be famous drink “Billygrape”. Billygrape is Fanta grape and vodka for those of you wondering.

Campesino comes in a plastic bottle which is nice cause Crabdaddy been know to drop one every now and then.

So next time you in shoppin for your favorite beverage may Crabdaddy suggest pickin up a bottle of Campesino, you won’t be disappointed. And if you are, den fix another one and see if it don’t taste better. And if you still don’t like it fix one more and drink it fast. And if you Still don’t like it , too d@mn bad, you done drunk half the bottle. Use it to light your d@mn charcoal when you cook out or somethin. (Crabdaddy & Jellyfish did dat once. Bad thing was we used Gulf-Light in the Billygrape, gotem mixed up, woa…… dumb @ss Jellyfish.)

Well, dat it. Crabdaddy gonna go do somethin else now.

Nightmares!

Ooh, Crabdaddy havin em. Dat right. Nightmares!

On one of the connections on Crabdaddy flight back he had one of dem small prop planes. Crabdaddy watched a “sizeable” woman in her little sisters clothes try to shove a king size mattress comforter into the little overhead compartment. It didn’t wanna go and Crabddy didn’t wanna watch but it like a wreck, you just gotta look. Crabdaddy got motion sickness before he even got in motion.

Then Saturday Crabdaddy gonna cut grass but dang mower don’t work right and it start smokin and smell like nothin Crabdaddy ever smell before. So Crabdaddy look under it when Jellyfish hold it up. Dang frog leg wavin at Crabdaddy. Dat right three of Crabdoggy’s froggy’s done made a home in Crabdaddy lawnmower. One of them dang froggy’s got stuck in the drive belt and pulley. Took Crabdaddy and Jellyfish all mornin and we still didn’t get it all out.. Dang froggy big as a frisbee.

“Froggy stuck in my drive belt” ain’t in the trouble shootin part of the manual.  Had to “google ” it.  Know what it said?   It said “take it in for service and let dem boys deal wit froggy.”  Crabdaddy gonna go get it today.

We Back.

Well Crabdaddy & Crabmommy made it back.  We tired but we good.  It a long way from here to there and then back.

Had a wonderful time with PPP, Striker, Lady M, and PPPP (Pretty Pretty Pirncess Puppy)

It Crabdaddy & Crabmommy first time to meet Lady M and we like her a lot.

Crabdaddy gonna rest some today and this weekend and he be back Monday, Good Lord willin!

Made It!

Well, Crabdaddy and Crabmommy made it to see PPP.  We so happy!

Crabdaddy not gonna be postin till he get back sometime next week, but wanted to let all both you readers know he made it.

Last we heard was Crabdoggy doin good so we happy bout dat.

Take care and maybe Crabdaddy have some stories when he get back!

CNBCR Report from San Jose

Weather: It gonna be hot and it gonna rain.

Local Happenings: People here at the hotel real nice but they ain’t nobody else on our floor so Crabdaddy don’t know if anythin happenen.

Night Life: They probably is a lot of dat here, but this city way to big for Crabdaddy and he fraid he get lost. They a Casino next to the Denny’s which is real close by so may try that if Crabdaddy can find any loose change.

Health: Crabdaddy feelin pretty good, how bout you? Crabmommy back hurtin, bed too hard at the hotel.

Sports: Ya’ll just gonna haveta wait on this. Crabdaddy ain’t had time to figure out how many people on a dang soccer team and Crabdaddy really don’t care. You go 5 days without a shower and see what you think.

Crabdaddy missin Crabdoggy a lot  but he he know Crabdoggy is good.

Remember, you can send Crabdoggy an email at   crabdoggy@gmail.com

Crabdaddy will read em to Crabdoggy when we get back.  Crabdoggy likes gettin emails.

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?

Do you know the way to San Jose? Crabdaddy do, and dat where he goin in just a little while.

Crabdaddy posed to go Thursday, dat when our plane leave, but since we still got water problems Crabdaddy & Crabmommy figure we go today. Get a nice place and get all cleaned up and rested for our trip. This way we don’t have to leave so early Thursday cause it bout a 3 hour drive from Cradaddy house to the airport. And that if you lucky.

So Crabdaddy gonna say “bye” now and go get ready.

Crabdaddy let you know sometime how this all work out!

Busy Week Ahead.

Crabdaddy good here, but it gonna be a busy week. Gotta take Crabdoggy back to his doctor to get one little spot checked. Wanna make sure he fungus not comin back.

Hopin to get some water here at the Crabshack soon, it gettin kinda ripe.

Also, Crabdaddy & Crabmommy gonna be travlin this week back to the States. Crabdaddy really lookin forward to that. It always good to be reminded not to smoke in the bathroom on the airplane, and not to take the smoke detector apart. And Crabdaddy forgot how to work dem seat belts so a review there will be needed.

And the food, who can forget airplane and airport food………..yummie.

Crabdaddy gotta go for now, he catch you soon.

Dang Pump House!

Ok, dis is what it look like when you combine Crabdaddy repair skills with bout 4 inches of rain in 3 hours.

Dat hole pump house layin is is really bout 15 feet deep. Dang pump house just wedged in there real good.

They say a picture worth a thousand words.

Crabdddy outa words.

It Been a Tough Day!

Crabdaddy writin dis on Thursday night after a tough day!

First off Ya-Ya & Re-Re come over and Ya-Ya bleedin. Crabdaddy had gave dem boys some money to go to the local bar and get a report on Nightlife for CNBCR. Well the dumb @ss boy didn’t even sit down fore he fell off the bar stool and hit he chin on the bar on the way down and bit the crap outta he tongue . When Crabdaddy get through fixin him up he look like that kid from Christmas Story who stuck he tongue to the frozen flagpole. CNBCR news gonna havta wait on dat nightlife report. Crabdaddy could give you a report right now on two dumb @sses!

But Crabdaddy big problem is no water. Been workin on dat pump all dang day and it still not right. Crabdaddy don’t know if it the pump or the piping or the air tank. But Crabdaddy do know we don’t have any water. And you know how he know? Crabmommy keep remindin him.

But we supposed to be grateful for in every situation. Crabdaddy really do believe dat. You just gotta look.

But when you been workin all day and you hot and sweaty and thirsty it tough to find somethin good bout not havin any water. So Crabdaddy had to look hard…………………. and you know what he grateful for?

Crabdaddy grateful he quit drinkin scotch & water cause he be screwed!

Crabdaddy gonna go have a vodka tonic now, he catch up wit you next week, Good Lord willin. Hope everybody have a good weekend.

CNBCR Report.

This the first report of Crabdaddy News Bout Costa Rica ( CNBCR) .

Weather Report: It hot! We 10 degrees bove the d@mn equator, whatca think we gonna have 2 inches of powder over 23 inches of hard pack?

Local Happenings: They buildin a new house over the well. It gonna be pretty sweet.

Night Life: Sent Ya-Ya & Re-RE out to work on this story last night and they ain’t come back yet. (Crabdaddy knew he shouldn’t a give dem boys that $8.oo)

Health: Crabdaddy fellin pretty good, Crabdoggy got a touch of the fungus but we gonna whip it. We keepin Iggy inside soes he don’t get dat flu.

Sports: They play soccer here but they call it “futball” or something like that. Crabdaddy tryin to find out how many players on a team. Hope to have that information soon.

Any reproduction of dis content is encouraged, just remember we makin some of dis stuff up.

News Blog Launch! CNBCR is Here!

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy proud to announce a news service we gonna provide bout Costa Rica.

We call it CNBCR which stands for:

Crabdaddy News Bout Costa Rica!

We gonna start local and see how it goes. We hope to expand into all markets eventually, just depends on ad revenues.

(Didn’t know Crabdaddy could write like that did ya?…………………ok, ok Crabmommy wrote it.)

We gonna cover things like weather, local happenings, night life, health and sports.

Crabdaddy lookin forward to keepin you all both informed.

Note: If you found dis blog usin the tags, Swine Flu or Global Warming Crabdaddy sorry, they ain’t nothin on dis post bout dem. It just everybody else writin bout dem so Crabdaddy tryin to cash is too. But long as you lookin, Iggy feelin fine, and it is hot here already. (Guess Crabdaddy did have somethin bout em.)

Crabdaddy Cookin Tips

Ok, some of you may be askin “Crabdaddy, what do I cook out on my grill and how long it gonna take?”

Crabdaddy gonna help you out.

First of all most everything taste better cooked out. Crabdaddy guideline is “if you can get it to hold still, and it need cookin, you can grill it”.

Crabdaddy favorites are chicken, hamburger, pork, and hot dogs!

If you fancy you can also cook shrimp. But remember you gonna need like a pound and a half of shrimp per person cause half of it gonna fall through the d@mn grill.

Now here is a guide to cookin times Crabdaddy come up with. Remember this based on a real hot fire and you real thirsty.

Chicken: 2 1/2 beers

Hamburger: 2 beers

Hot Dogs: 1 beer

Shrimp: hell, Crabdaddy don’t know, he only cooked em once and half of dem fell through , say maybe 1 1/2 beers.

Note: If your fire not real hot, add a beer to time. If you not real thirsty then go do somethin to get thirsty and your time will remain the same. Remember these times not exact, dey only guides.

Please feel free to print this off and keep wit your grill. Crabdaddy only want to help.

Note: Please read the comments, trishatruly has some really important things that will add to your grillin safety and pleasure.

Grillin Tips!

Summer comin, and dat means grillin out stuff! Crabdaddy gave you a refresher on “dried meat” a week or so ago and now he gonna hook you up wit some grillin tips!

What you see in the picture is the “Offical Crabdaddy Grill” . Other grills will work just fine, but these can be purchased at the Maxi-Bodega in Jaco, Costa Rica for bout $28.00 if you just gotta have one.

Now here some tips:

First: Grill position. Very important, put the grill where it not easily seen from where ever your partner gonna be while you cookin. (You will understand this better as we go along.)

B: Get a beer.

Second: Holler dat you gotta go “clean the grill” then go drink the beer.

Cuatro: Now it time for the fire so you probably need another beer. (Put one in the freezer while you at it.) Holler that you startin the fire as you go out. Drink the beer.

Third: Now it time to go see if what you cookin is ready to cook. Mention the fire is ready, and it “sure is hot out there”. Get a beer. (Get the one outta the freezer, but it not necessary to replace it in the freezer cause by the time you finish this beer you don’t really care if they cold.) Go back out and dink the beer.

IV: Now you primed and ready to cook, so get a beer and start cookin. You can control cookin time by when you actually put the stuff you cookin on the grill. This kinda depends on how much beer you got left.

A word of advice: Don’t put a comfortable chair by your grill. One time Crabdaddy fell asleep with a plate of raw hamburgers in he lap. Crabmommy pissed when she came out and saw what goin on. Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy slept in the truck dat night.

Crabdaddy hope to have more helpful hints this week if he dang internet keep workin!

Moo Point!

Crabdaddy ain’t gonna make this blog about stuff he don’t know nutin about and politics is sure one of them. But once in a while Crabdddy just had enough. So please forgive him.

All these dumb @ss folks in Washington and around who was runnin the United States for the last 8 years and ran it right into the crapper, while at the same time demselves gettin rich, need to SHUT THE HELL UP!

They had they turn.

They opinion is a “moo point”. Dat right a “moo point” .

A “moo point” is like a cow’s opinion, nobody gives a shit, and dat how Crabdaddy feel bout them.

I guess Crabdaddy’s opinion is a “moo point’ too, but Crabdaddy said from the start he could’ve run the country better from he kitchen table with a laptop, a fax, and a blackerry, and we wouldn’t be in this big ole mess we in now.

That ain’t an opinion, that a promise!!

Have a good weekend, Crabdaddy gotta go lay down now, he upset,  he see you next week, Good Lord willin!

Gone Fishin!

Other day Jellyfish come by wit Ya-Ya and Re-Re and say they goin fishin. Wanted Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy to go. Said they gonna fish from the bank. Well Crabdoggy start waggin he tail so Crabdaddy figure that a yes so here we go.

Now last time we did this we ain’t been fishin an hour when Ya-Ya fell out the boat. So we pull his dumb @ss in and then Re-Re stood up for somethin and he fell out.

Well we ain’t been fishin 5 minutes when Ya-Ya and Re-Re get they lines tangled up wit each other and star yankin they dang poles and over they go, into the river. Bank bout 5 feet high so dem boys had a drop. So we pull they dumb @sses out again.

Well now Ya-Ya hungry so he go back to the truck to get the chicken we brought to eat. Well we wait and wait and wait and no Ya-Ya. So Crabdaddy figure he go check to see what goin on.

They a lot of crocodiles in Costa Rica. And 3 of the meanest lookin ones Crabdaddy ever seen was right there at the truck. Dumb @ss Ya-Ya had been eatin chicken and throwin the bones out the window. Crocodiles like chicken a lot.

Everythin been ok if Ya-Ya had, first off had the keys, and second known how to drive the dang truck. We told Ya-Ya to stay in the truck and we be back later.

Crabdaddy and Jellyfish went back bout 4 hours later to get the truck and Ya-Ya was sound asleep. Crock’s no where around. Told Ya-Ya if Crabdaddy hadn’t been worried bout the truck he’d left his dumb @ss there all night.

That the last tme Crabdaddy go fishin wit dem boy’s.

Trouble Again

Crabdaddy in trouble wit Crabmommy and it not all he fault. Ok so other day Crabdaddy and Cabdoggy up on the roof cleanin out dem gutters when Jellyfish come up. Now Jellyfish want to bring the nail gun up on the roof so we could shoot coconuts like we did once before, but Crabdaddy got in a bunch of trouble for that so he say no.

Crabdaddy had put some beers in the freezer to get em real cold so he say “Jellyfish go get us a beer outta the freezer.

Well Crabdaddy wait and wait and wait and he just bout to come down and see what goin on cause if it one thing Jellyfish can do is fetch beer. Then Crabdaddy hear this loud BOOM. Crabdaddy know right off this bad.

Beer had frozen so dumb @ss Jellyfish put it in the microwave to thaw it, he figured since they glass bottles they be fine. He forgot to take the metal caps off.

Dang fool blew up the microwave. Unless you done it before you can’t imagine how much glass is in two exploded beer bottles and a microwave oven when it blown all over your house.

Took me and Jellyfish two hours to clean that mess up cause the dumb @ass had put a bowl of spaghetti to warm up in there wit the beer. Dumb @ss Jellyfish.

This been some week.

This Settles That.

Ok, so other day Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy sittin outback in Crabdoggy blow up pool havin a beer. Crabdaddy figure it a good time to ask Crabdoggy why he don’t always come as soon as Crabdaddy call him.

Here how the conversation went:

Crabdaddy: How come you don’t come when Crabdaddy call you?

Crabdoggy: Don’t want to. How come you don’t come when I bark?

Crabdaddy: Don’t want to. Guess we even.

Then we had another beer.

When Crabdaddy Gonna Learn?

Ok, so had to take Crabdoggy to the vet cause he got the “fungus” again. That dang little technician see Crabdoggy comin and he run and hide in the bathroom. But everything ok, Vet just gave Crabdoggy some cream to try so we see how everything look in a few days.

And Crabdaddy really do preciate the advice he get from trishatruly bout the kerosene. But Crabdaddy fraid to use kerosene or gasoline, which is what dey use a lot in Costa Rica, cause Crabdoggy is a black doggy wit long hair. We try and keep him shaved but he always hot and Crabdaddy fraid Crabdoggy mite just “ignite” if we put somethin like gas or kerosene on him.

Crabdoggy is part Chow. The part that will bite the shit outta you if he don’t like you or if he just bored. So Crabdaddy gotta be careful wit dat too. Can’t have Crabdoggy sayin , “Crabdaddy why you throw gasoline at me?”

Anyway problem was Crabdaddy left Ree-Ree & Ya-Ya at the crabshack watchin Olive. Crabdaddy been havin lots of these big ole turkey buzzards flyin around and he afraid one of em might get Olive. So Crabdaddy left the boys at the crabshack to watch her.

Well, Crabdaddy guess the boys figure they would throw rocks at them buzzards and scare em away. One of them buzzards come in kinda close and both boys cut loose with they rocks.

What the d@mn odds them dumb @sses hit anything? ……………… Except each other!

That right, when Crabdaddy get back from the vet, they both layin on the ground bleedin and moanin. Shezam, Olive and Iggy just sittin there watchin them.

So Crabdaddy get em up and bring em inside and clean em up. Put a little of Cabdoggy’s new fungus cream on em, figure it can’t hurt em. (Crabdaddy started to put gasoline on they dumb @sses) Give em a beer and send em home.

One day Crabdaddy gonna learn dem boys lucky to find they way home.

Dang Fungus Back!

Well, Crabdaddy sittin here this mornin havin he coffee, pattin Crabdoggy like he always do and der it is. That dang old fungus back on Crabdoggy.

You know what this means.  It means, more medicine, more shots, and that little lab tech at the Vets office better look out cause Crabdoggy gonna be pissed when dey pull out that needle.  Somebody gonna get bit, and Crabdaddy’s money on him.

Crabdaddy let you know how this turns out.

Saturday Mornin, Oooh!

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy stayed up way to late last night playin cards wit Jellyfish, Re-Re- &  Ya-Ya so he goin back to bed.

Sunday Crabdaddy gonna rest, so he see you next week, Good Lord willin!

Hope everybody have a good weekend!

Dried Meat Review.

it come to Crabdaddy attention that spring & summer gettin close and many of you will be goin to the beach and campin and doin stuff outdoors and will be preparing food for you friends and family and loved ones and your dumb @ss neighbors and dumb @ss people you work with.

Well, Crabdaddy also realize that he blog gotten so big, (100+ posts and almost as many hits!) that some of you might have missed the post on how to dry meat. Crabdaddy really proud of dis post cause it has helped so many people.

So in the spirt of helpin all you experience the proper and safest way to preserve meat, and enjoy your time wit your family, friends, loved ones and dumb @ss neighbors and dumb @ss people you work with, please look to the right of this page under “I’d like categories please Alex” , and click on Daily Double.

This should bring you to the post “Dried Meat”. If it didn’t then somethin screwed up on Crabdaddy’s blog, or you might be somebody’s dumb @ss neighbor or dumb @ss person they workin with, cause you musta clicked the wrong thing. (If you did then you just really need to go lay down and not be out with people.)

In either case just keep scrowlin down the page and when you finally get to the “Dried Meat” post then read it. It can help. Even if you read it before it never hurts to review.

Crabdaddy hopes this helps all both of you readers enjoy your dried meat and time with your family, friends, loved ones, dumb @ss neighbors and dumb @ss people you workin wit.

Pura Vieda!

Our Question Answered.

Ok, so other night Crabdaddy sittin outside wit Crabdoggy havin some beers. Crabdaddy ask Crabdoggy why he turn around in a circle 3 times before he lay down?

Crabdoggy say cause if he turn around 4 times he get dizzy and sick to he stomach.

Made sense to Crabdaddy.

Deadliest Catch!

Last night Jellyfish came over and watched the season premier of Deadliest Catch wit Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy.  It our favorite show.  (It right there wit Seinfeld & King of Queens!)

If you never seen it you should watch it . It good.  It bout catching crab’s in the sea.  It tough work, but Captain Sig and the boys gettin it done.

Anyway, to go along wit de season premier, Crabmommy made tuna surprise for dinner.  Jellyfish brought over some homemade mango wine.  So everybody just sat there and watched the tv and ate and drank then ate and drank some more.

After the show Crabdaddy put in some tapes of de old Deadliest Catch shows (they still good to watch) and we just kept right on eatin that tuna surprise and drinkin that mango wine.

This mornin when Crabdaddy came to he figured out what dat surprise was in dat tuna surprise.

Ooh Crabdaddy goin back to bed.

Up To Speed!

It has been brought to Crabdaddy attention he may need to list all the folks and animals that live and visit at the Crabshack. The names can get confuzin.

Here we go:

Crabdaddy – dat me

Crabmommy – dat Crabdaddy partner, roommate, best friend, mother to Striker, Bullet & Pretty Pretty Princess, and she do everything that need doin.

Striker, Bullet, Pretty Pretty Princess (PPP) – dez our children

Crabdoggy – dat Crabdaddy’s doggy

Jellyfish – dat our friend.

Ya- Ya & Ree-Ree – dey our friends and Jellyfish cousins.

Shezam – dat our chicken

Olive – dat Shezam’s chick

Iggy – dat Crabdoggy’s piggy

Think that bout it for now.

We all good here.

Iggy The Piggy!

Hope everybody had a good Easter weekend.

Big news around the Crabshack was Shezam’s new chick Olive. She so cute Crabdoggy been helpin Shezam all weekend look after her when he had time.

Crabdoggy also been busy playin wit his new piggy Iggy.  Iggy is the piggy Crabdaddy got when he traded wit Ya-Ya for the iPod.

One night Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy sittin out back havin some beers and came up wit the name for the piggy. It came from dat Iggy Pop/David Bowie song “Lust For Life” which is Crabdoggy’s favorite. He love dat verse in there that say “like hypnotizing chickens”. Crabdoggy been tryin to hypnotize Shezam ever since he heard that but Shezam won’t stand still long enough.

But that doggy keep on tryin, he really do got a “Lust For Life”.

Happy Day at The Crabshack!

Well, we all happy here. Big day finally came. Dat right, Shezam’s egg finally hatched and we got the cutest lil chick you ever did see. Her name is Olive, and Crabdoggy so excited you think it his.

We gonna be hangin close this Easter weekend watchin Olive and givin the Good Lord thanks for all our blessings.

Hope everybody have a good weekend,and we see you next week, Good Lord willin.

New Game!

Ree-Ree come over the other day and say he need to borrow some beer cause they cookin a bunch of shrimp. They beein, Ree-Ree-, Ya-Ya, and “the girls”. Seems Ya-Ya’s date the other day went well and the cousin had a sister for Ree-Ree.  This really what you call “keepin it in the family”.

So Crabdaddy say sure, take what you need. Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy was out back diggin a hole and just told Ree-Ree- to go get it.

Well after while Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy go inside and see dang boy took ALL Crabdaddy’s beer. Musta been 30 cans or so, and it all gone. Now Crabdaddy know Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya ain’t cookin that much shrimp. So Crabdaddy figure he better go see what goin on over there. Jellyfish gone so they ain’t nobody to watch dem dumb @ss boys.

It took a while to get ready to leave. Crabdoggy wanted to go but he wouldn’t leave Shezam alone cause she still sittin on her egg. So first Crabdaddy put Shezam in the truck in the club cab where she like and get her settled with her egg. Then Crabdoggy want to bring this stick he been carryin around all day but it too long to go in the truck so we gotta cut it off some to fit. Finally we all ready to go.

When we get there Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya passed out and the girls watchin TV and eatin shrimp. Seems the “boys” had invented this new game. Eat a shrimp, drink a beer. Thing was the girls didn’t drink beer, they wanted Pepsi. And the boys hadn’t never drunk more than half a beer in their life.

Ree-Ree had two shrimp and Ya-Ya had one before they passed out. Real party animals dem two.

So Crabdaddy loaded up the 27 beers , left the girls watchin cartoons and eatin shrimp, with the boys passed out on the couch and went home with Crabdoggy, the stick, Shezam and her egg. Just another day.

Pura Vida.

iPod , iPhone, Ya-Ya

Well Crabdaddy swapped back with Ya-Ya on the iPod. Ya-Ya thought it was a iPhone and he been tryin to get a dial tone for three days.

When Crabdaddy asked Ya-Ya who he knew that had a phone that he could talk with he just kinda went quiet as if he was tryin to think of someone. ……sigh…………………..that one dumb @ss boy.

Anyway Crabdoggy liked the piggy from the original trade so Crabdaddy had to give Ya-Ya a piece of rope and some hose to make up for the piggy.

It take forever to get loaded to go anywhere now. We gotta load Crabdoggy, Shezam and her egg, and piggy. Crabdaddy feel like a dang hillbilly.

Internet Problems

Crabdaddy havin some internet issues.  Jellyfish say he know a girl that goin with a guy whose cousin has a friend who lives next to a guy who has a motercycle that has some tools who may can fix it.  Dang, that Crabdaddy. Stupid Jellyfish!

Well we see, maybe better tomorrow!  Hope your day goes better than this  one started out.

Traded Crabdaddy iPod

Ok, Crabdaddy just traded he iPod to Ya-Ya for $7 , 3 beers , and a baby pig. Crabdaddy think it a good deal for both of us, but don’t want to take advantage of Ya-Ya.

Bought the iPod 6 months ago on ebay for $30. It a second generation they said. But here the deal. It only had 3 songs on it and Crabdaddy got really tired of them. It had “Folsom Prison” by Johnny Cash, “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” by Boy George and Culture Club,(After 6 monthes Crabdaddy did want to “hurt him”), and “Don’t Give Up On Us Baby” by David Soul ( He used to be on Starsky & Hutch).

Now Crabdaddy be first to admit these some pretty sweet tunes, but after 6 months Crabdaddy “did see the train acomin”, he did wanna hurt that “boy”, and he just “gave up on us” and traded the d@mn iPod to Ya-Ya.

Now here the deal, Crabdaddy never could connect that iPod to he computer. Crabdaddy got a Commodor 128 so he figure it shoulda worked. And the battery only last long enought to listen to each song twice then you gotta charge it again. Well Ya-Ya don’t have any computer, and he don”t have electricity either so Crabdaddy don’t really know why Ya-Ya wanted the iPod cept to impress his new girlfriend.

You know, Crabdaddy thinkin bout tradin back with Ya-Ya, but Crabdoggy really like that pig . What you think?

Have a Good Weekend

Crabdaddy gonna make this short cause Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy so tired. Had a really good rain here last night and Crabdaddy and Crabdggy had to get up from bed and go sit out in Shezam’s house with the umbrella over her and her egg.

Crabdaddy brought Shezam and her egg inside but Shezam didn’t want any part of that so we had to go back to her house and her house got a few leaks. Crabdaddy gonna fix dem leaks so this don’t happen again cause this was one long night.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy see you next week, good Lord willin.

Hope everybody have a good weekend!

Helpin Each Other !

So the other afternoon Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy & Shezam sittin out in the truck. Shezam hadn’t laid an egg in a long time and Crabdaddy fraid she gonna get backed up. Shezam like sittin behind the seat in the club cab so Crabdaddy put her back there . She also like Bob Marley so we turned that on the radio.

Guess we been sittin there bout an hour when Jellyfish come by with his two cousins, Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya. Now Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya are good boys, but dumb ain’t enough of a description. They the “poster boys” for dumb. Seems Ya-Ya had a date tonight with one of their cousins, (Yeah, you read it right.) and had run out of shampoo so they were going to get some more. (They may be dumb, put personal hygiene is important to them.) Jellyfish was just goin for somethin to do.

So Crabdaddy say we run em down to the store to save em the walk. We put Crabdoggy behind the seat with Shezam, and Jellyfish got in the front seat. Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya get in the back of the truck and here we go.

Well, it a pretty easy ride down, me and Jellyfish just talkin, Crabdoggy happy, and Shezam is quiet so we figure that good. When we get to the store and get out we ain’t got Ree-Ree and Ya-Ya. Tail gate down and dem dumb @ss boys gone.

Jellyfish not worried, he figure they fell out and he know what kinda shampoo Ya-Ya want so we go in and get it. This shampoo is what they all use. It smell like a cross between baby oil and Raid bug spray. Anyway we get it and head back.

Bout half way home there dem boys are, waitin on us. They fell out of the truck. How the hell they fell out of the truck goin down hill Crabdaddy will never know.  But we put em in the back and made em promise to hold on and not to open the tailgate.

Crabdaddy did get em back in plenty of time for Ya-Ya to get ready for he date.

And Shezam laid her egg sometime during the comin and goin so Crabdaddy know she feel better.

Everything normal here!

Don’t Mess With Crabdoggy!

Don’t mess with Crabdoggy! Jellyfish learned this lesson the hard way.

Other day Jellyfish come by on he way to see some boy bout somethin. Crabdoggy really glad to see Jellyfish cause it been a few days since he been over. And Crabdoggy want to go with Jellyfish so Crabdaddy say ok.

Bout 2 hours later Jellyfish come back with 2 chickens, a pineapple, and 3 cans of beer. Crabdaddy say “where Crabdoggy?” and Jellyfish look kinda funny. He say he traded Crabdoggy for this stuff he brought back. Say the boy he went to see needed Crabdoggy to guard he car for bout a week so he kinda “loaned” Crabdoggy out. “But we gonna get him back in a week”.

Well, Crabdaddy don’t know what to do. So Crabdaddy “explain” to Jellyfish exactly where Crabdoggy rank in the pecking order and exactly where Jellyfish rank. And if we don’t go get Crabdoggy right now they gonna refer to Jellyfish in the past tense.

Jellyfish understood.

When we got there Crabdoggy was in the boys car. Crabdoggy done bit the shit outta the boy, his brother, and they uncle. Crabdoggy wouldn’t let none of them in the car. He tore off the rear view mirrow then ate the fuzzy dice, ate the front seat belts and the plastic Jesus off the dash. Crabdoggy was startin to eat the steerin wheel when he saw Crabdaddy.

Crabdoggy was so glad to see Crabdaddy he was wigglin all over . He bit the shit outta Jellyfish soon as Crabdaddy let him outta the car. Crabdaddy told Jellyfish he had it comin. Crabdaddy was so proud.

Dem boys was so glad Crabdaddy come back for Crabdoggy they said he could keep the 2 chickens, pineapple, and beer.

Jellyfish felt really bad when it was all over. Said he “learned” he lesson. Said he wouldn’t ever do that again.

You don’t mess with Crabdoggy!

Bamboo-hoo

We goin back for more bamboo.  It a tough job, but we gotta do it cause this really good bamboo.

Maybe we have some stories bout it soon.

More Bamboo

So, we goin back to cut more bamboo. Well, Jellyfish and Ree-Ree gonna do the cuttin. Crabdaddy gonna try and not fall off the mountain.

Jellyfish say “you sit here Crabdaddy” and pointed and Crabdaddy say “ok”. And Crabdaddy did.

It was so steep, one time when the wind blew really hard Crabdaddy see 2 goats go rollin down. That how steep it was.

Bamboo

By time you read this Crabdaddy and Jellyfish be off somewhere cuttin bamboo. We gonna use it to make some stuff and Jellyfish friend say we could have it if we just come cut it.

But we gotta go early, somethin bout the sun and the tide and who knows what, but we goin early.

As you can see Crabdaddy done hooked up with Twitter , for those of you who feel the need to know “what Crabdaddy doin”. Those of you that do really need to expand your horizons a bit cause as you can see, Crabdaddy ain’t doin much .

And it gonna be hard to “tweet” out in the bamboo patch. Crabdaddy gonna be more worried bout Jellyfish and a machete and snakes, than he is bout tweetin.

But check back often and you can keep up wit Crabdaddy, Crabmommy, Crabdoggy, and Jellyfish if you ain’t got anything better to do.

Twitter Widget

Ok, Crabdaddy added Twitter widget to the blog.

Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, and Jellyfish gonna be checkin it out this weekend.

Crabdoggy can’t read, and Jellyfish don’t know how to work a computer so all they gonna do is advise Crabdaddy.

Let us know what you think.

Let’s Review

Ok, this week is bout over and it a good thing cause Crabdaddy so tired and sore.

We done a lot of stuff this week:

We filled in a good hole.

We danced with Crabdoggy and fell in a fire pit. (no fire)

We cooked shrimp.

We lost Jellyfish.

We found Jellyfish.

Yeah, it been a good week.  We gonna rest now, have a good weekend and we see you next week, good Lord willin.

Coconut Shrimp

Other day Crabmommy brought home a whole bunch of shrimp. We were gonna have it as a special dinner.

Well Crabdaddy been messing up a lot lately so Crabdaddy figure we need a special dinner now. Kinda start off in a new direction.

Crabdaddy or Crabdoggy don’t know how to cook shrimp so we call Jellyfish cause he know a little bout a lot of things including cookin shrimp. Jellyfish say first thing we need is some coconut to put on dem shrimp. Then we just put dem shrimp in a pan and cook em. Simple.

You ever tried to open a coconut? Crabdaddy worked on his coconut so long the shrimp start to turn. Crabdoggy nawed on his so long and it kept rollin around he finally lost it.

Crabdaddy didn’t know what to do then he remembered he got some Mounds candy bars at the store the other day and they had coconut in them. So Crabdaddy & Jellyfish cut up dem Mounds and got out the coconut. We had enough coconut to cook all dem shrimp.

Well it about dinner time when we got finished cookin dem shrimp and we all hungry, but Crabmommy not back. We figure we could try a few and leave some for Crabmommy.

Crabdaddy never tasted anything quite like them coconut shrimp. First 3 or 4 pretty good. (The beer helped) Next 3 or 4 kinda funky.

We never knew when Crabmommy came home cause we were all three out in the backyard while dem shrimp was “surfacin”, yep, Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, and Jellyfish. Crabdaddy ain’t never eatin Jellyfish cookin again, and ain’t never buyin shrimp from some kid walkin between the cars while Crabdaddy stuck in traffic. (Was a good price though, Crabdaddy proud of that.)

Guess Crabdaddy gonna take Crabmommy out to eat for some coconut shrimp.

Crabdaddy leavin Crabdoggy and Jellyfish home though cause you just askin for trouble when you take them boys out.

Dancin With Crabdoggy!

Ok, Crabdaddy didn’t hurt his back carryin Crabdoggy outta the hole. He just made that up cause he was embarrassed.

Other night Crabmommy watchin “Dancin With The Stars”, well Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy ain’t gonna watch that, so we go outside and have a couple of beers.

Well Crabdoggy wantin to play so he jumps up on Crabdaddy and Crabdaddy grabs Crabdoggy’s legs and starts dancin all around the back yard. We makin fun of Crabmommy’s show and hollerin at her and not payin attention to what we doin.

We “fox trotted” right into the fire pit. Good thing we didn’t have no fire in there. And that when Crabdaddy hurt his back. Crabdoggy fine, he landed on top of Crabdaddy.

Now you see why Crabdaddy embarrassed.

Back Pain

Crabdaddy hurt he back the other day carryin Crabdoggy outta the hole so he gonna rest a few days and try and find some place comfortable to be.  He see you in a few days.  Pura Vida!

Crabdaddy So Tired!

Ok, yesterday Crabdaddy & Jellyfish rode the mule up to a local soccer game. Bout half way through it came up a big thunderstorm and everybody ran for cover. When it was over Crabdaddy couldn’t find Jellyfish.

Crabdaddy looked and looked but no Jellyfish. Somebody say he gone to the next town so Crabdaddy fire up the mule and go lookin up there. But no Jellyfish there either so Crabdaddy head back to the game ( it long over by now).

When Crabdaddy get back to the soccer field there sit Jellyfish in the bar across the road. Jellyfish been there all the time waitin on Crabdaddy. Jellyfish musta been in the bathroom when Crabdaddy looked. A bar is ALWAYS the first place you look for Jellyfish.

Anyway it was late when Crabdaddy & Jellyfish got back and we tired so we gonna rest today.

Workin

Jellyfish comin over today and it look like we gonna be fillin in the hole.  Crabdaddy hate it cause it a dang good hole.  But like Grandcrabdaddy say “man can’t have everything”.

Crabdaddy catch you next week, have a good weekend.

Seemed Like A Good Idea.

Ok, so the other day Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, and our friend Jellyfish sittin around havin a beer in the backyard and we noticed Crabdaddy don’t have a fire pit. We we had another beer and since Crabmommy was gone for a while we figured we would just make one. Crabdaddy had lots of stuff needed burnin.

We start diggin and drinkin and it goin pretty good. In fact it going so good Crabdaddy fill up the cooler and bring it down in the hole. Crabdaddy figure if he could keep beer in Jellyfish he dig all the way to China. Never seen a man dig so fast.

After a bit Jellyfish gotta go get rid of some beer and while he gone Crabdaddy realize this hole gettin pretty deep. So when Jellyfish come back Crabdaddy tell him to throw us a rope down so we could climb out. Crabmommy took the ladder cause she didn’t want Crabdaddy on the roof after that last time.

After a little while it startin to get dark so we figure we call it a day. We got us a good hole and it time to quit.

Now Crabdaddy love Jellyfish, he a good man. And he work like a trojan, but you gotta tell him everything. Crabdaddy realize he hadn’t told Jellyfish everything when we start to climb out. Crabdaddy hadn’t told Jellyfish to tie the rope to anything.

That right , we stuck in the hole. Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy and Jellyfish stuck in the hole.

After bout two hours it really dark, it smellin really bad, and things keep fallin in the hole, like froggy’s and lizzards and stuff. We outta beer and Crabdoggy ready to bite somethin when here come Crabmommy. She heard Crabdoggy cryin.

Crabmommy see she got Crabdaddy over a barrel so we negotiated a few thing and Crabmommy went and got the ladder.

Jellyfish comin back tomorrow to help fill up the hole.

Pura Vida!

Happy Anniversary Crabmommy!

Well Crabdaddy wanna say “Happy Anniversary Crabmommy”, it been a wonderful 26 years.

Crabdaddy don’t know how Crabmommy put up with him but he sure glad she did.

Crabdaddy love you Crabmommy, let’s go for another 26!

Happy Birthday Pretty Pretty Princess!

Crabdaddy just want to say “Happy Birthday” to Pretty Pretty Princess. He miss you a whole lot and can’t wait to see you in May.

Remember last year? Hope you feel better this morning than you did last year at this time.

Hope you have a great day and know Crabdaddy, Crabmommy and Crabdoggy love you!

Happy Birthday sweetie,

Love

Dad

Gotta Go.

Crabdaddy gonna be quick this morning. He gotta take the “Mule” down and get it’s inspection sticker now that he got the tag.

Hope there aren’t any stories come from this little errand. Crabdaddy don’t speak much Spanish and they gonna be a whole bunch of Police inspectin the “mule”who don’t speak much English, so you see where this could go.

Wish Crabdaddy good luck, Pura Vida.

Nail Guns can be Trouble.

Ok, so Crabdaddy up on the roof the other day fixin the hole the pressure cooker made. Actually Crabdaddy was hidin from Crabmommy. She had some stuff she was paintin outside and Crabdaddy hate to paint. So Crabdaddy carried Crabdoggy, the nail gun and some beers up on the roof so we could hide out. Crabdoggy liked it up there, found him some shade an lay down.

After bout an hour Crabdaddy bored so he start lookin around for somethin to do. Roof fixed, but paintin still there. So Crabdaddy ain’t goin down. Crabdaddy see this big old palm tree over by the clothes line and it got a bunch of coconuts on it. Well Crabdoggy say he bet Crabdaddy can’t hit one with the nailgun. Well that all it took. That and 2 beers. Crabdaddy crack down on dem coconuts, and after turnin up the pressure, and bout 150 nails, “bingo“, it Deadeye Crabdaddy, got one.

Well, d@mn coconut fell outta the tree which on a normal day happens a lot, no problem. But that dang paint bucket right there next to the clothes line. Yeah clothes line had clothes on it. Dang! Red paint on Crabmommys clothes. Crabdaddy in big trouble now, only hope she don’t know it was Crabdaddy shot it down.

Would have been ok if Crabdaddy hadn’t switched to bigger nails. That dang nail stickin right out bout 3 inches. When Crabmommy saw that nail stikin out of the coconut layin in the paint and Crabdoggy had the air hose in he mouth she just shook her head and walked off sayin somethin Crabdaddy didn’t understand.

Then it ain’t bad enough Crabdaddy got red paint on Crabmommy’s jammies, the neighbor come by and said he lost another cow. Shot with some nails. Wanted to know if Crabdaddy might know somethin bout it.

Crabdaddy gonna sell that nail gun and buy that neighbor a cow. Dang nail gun.

Restin

Crabdoggy & Crabdaddy restin today & tomorrow.

We be back Monday, good Lord willin.

Hope you have a good weekend,

Run of Bad Luck.

Like most Americans, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy love to cook out little farm animals and eat em. And like many Americans Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy used to love to hunt little unarmed woodland animals. So we could cook them and eat them too.

But when Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy move, they got rid of all they guns and ammo. At lest Crabdaddy thought he did. The other day Crabdaddy goin through some boxes and there a whole bunch of bullets. So Crabdaddy put them in a box while he figure out what to do.

Couple days go by and Crabmommy gone off so Crabdaddy figure he do some cleanin up around the house . Kinda messy after all the repair work caused by the pressure cooker.

Lot of boxes need burnin and stuff and Crabdaddy forgot all bout that dang ammo. Yep, you guessed it. Threw that box right on the fire. After bout 10 minutes them bullets start goin off. Crabdoggy hauled @ss and Crabdaddy took cover.

When it was all over Crabdaddy had 3 bullet holes in he dang truck. Shot out two tires, shot off a mirror and, and broke three windows at the neighbors. Also shot the neighbors cow, three goats and a pig. Crabdaddy really sorry bout that.

Crabdaddy been wantin to have a big cook-out. Now seems like a good time. Gonna be sure and invite the neighbor.

Pressure Cookers and Home Repair.

Ok, so the other night Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy was talkin about pressure cookers and how good the food cooked in em is. So, Crabmommy don’t have one, and she do have our anniversary comin up so Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy decided we would make one. Couldn’t be too hard.

Yes alcohol was involved in this decision makin process.

First thing Crabdaddy do is wait till Crabmommy gone cause he want to surprise her. Then he go find an old pot with a lid and dill a whole in the top to let the steam out. Then we put 3 c-clamps on the pot and we ready to cook. Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy pretty proud of a job well done so we had a beer.

After 3 more beers we still proud and now we hungry so we decide to try our cooker out. Figured we cook some pork and potatoes so we load up the cooker, cause we gonna make enough for dinner. It gonna take bout 45 minutes cookin in our new cooker so we got time for a beer.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy outside when we heard the explosion. It blew pork & potatoes into every room. It blew a hole in the roof. It broke the TV and broke out a window in the neighbors house. Crabdaddy amazed at how much damage one d@mn pressure cooker could do. Them was some dang good clamps though, they didn’t give a bit, Crabdaddy proud of that.

When Crabmommy came home she just looked at us and shook her head, then turned and walked off. Crabdoggy wouldn’t come in, think he still scared.

Crabdaddy gotta go google “roof repair”. Bad part is Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy still hungry.

Long Day!

Crabdaddy back, but yesterday was a long day.  Crabdoggy come runnin up to the truck when he saw me.  He had a good day playin with his cousins, but it good to know he missed Crabdaddy.

Gonna hang out here today cause Crabdaddy think he goin to Jaco tomorrow.  Think Crabdoggy might be gettin the fungus again.  Hope not, Crabdoggy don’t like them shots.

Road Trip.

Ok,, kinda road trip. Crabdaddy gonna be gone all day. He and he buddy Marcos gonna load Marcos’s motorcycle and take it bout 3 hours up the road to get it worked on. All dirt road, gonna be fun.

But Crabdaddy won’t be able to send any Twitter up-dates so don’t anybody worry. Crabdaddy gonna be fine, he just sorry Crabdoggy can’t go.

It’s Hot !

It hot here. Now Crabdddy not really complainin, after all he know he very lucky, but it is pretty hot here.

Now you may be askin, “Crabdaddy, how hot is it?”. And Crabdaddy gonna tell you. Yesterday Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy sittin out back in Crabdoggy’s blow up pool havin a beer and tryin to cool off. Crabmommy bring the washin out to hang on the line to dry. So Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy just sittin watchin. After about 30 minutes Crabdaddy go for another beer and when he come back a pair of Crabdaddy boxers just hangin there on fire. So Crabdaddy fill Crabdoggy sand bucket with water and put em out.

Then Crabdaddy say to Crabdoggy ” Why my boxers ignite Crabdoggy?” Crabdoggy say “cause they hot dumb@ss”. Guess he right.

That how hot it is.

Restin.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy restin.  Hope everybody have a good day.

Costa Rica!

So Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy sittin on the couch IM’n with Striker and Crabdoggy start barkin. Crabdaddy look up and there go a herd of cows and a few horses mixed in walkin down the road. Crabdoggy gone to check em out. He be back in a minute and he be so tired he sleep all afternoon. Happens all the time here, but it still cool. Crabdoggy love it.

Other day comin back from town Crabdaddy saw an Iguana, must have been 3 feet long. Let Crabdaddy tell you they are fast. And Ocean views, my, my, it is so beautiful. You just never know what you gonna see.

You should think bout comin down here and seein Costa Rica sometime, it is one beautiful country

We Restin.

Think Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy gonna be restin for a couple days.  Crabdaddy still tired from the trip to see Bullet and Crabdoggy, well Crabdoggy just like restin.

Twitter De & Twitter Dumb

Crabdaddy “is Twitter Dumb” but he got one of those Twitter things now so all both fans can keep up with Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy all the time.

But Crabdaddy ain’t got it all figured out yet so for now go to http://search.twitter.com/ and you can get the latest things that Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy up too. Just search Crabdaddy.

Maybe this work better, Crabdaddy don’t know he just found it            http://twitter.com/crabdaddy

This gonna be good, if Crabdaddy can figure it out.

Twitter

Crabdaddy wonderin if he and Crabdoggy need to get one of those Twitter’s. Crabdaddy not sure what it is but he see some folks got em on they blog and figure he might be missing something.

Why don’t you think bout it and let Crabdaddy know if he need one.

Crabdaddy gotta go now, he think Crabdoggy gotta go “tweet”.

We Back!

Crabdddy & Crabmommy back from seein Bullet and Crabdoggy so happy, he been runnin & jumpin with his cousins,  cause he excited.

We had a wonderful visit and so proud of Bullet. He doin so good.

Crabdaddy saw things and have many questions about this trip and travelin in general. But Crabdaddy number one question is the same as yours he bet. ” Who the dumb@ss that tried the first time to take the smoke detector in the d@mn airplane bathroom apart?” Everytime Crabdaddy get on the plane they show the same video and at the end they say don’t smoke in the bathroom, and don’t take the smoke detector apart”. Who gonna do that?

Like you gonna fool somebody if you fire up a doobie in the bathroom and the alarm don’t go off. Everybody lookin at you anyway when you walk down to it. They know it you goin in. You be like Cheech & Chong comin out. Smoke everywhere.

And the bathroom so small Crabdaddy gotta decide what he gonna do before he go in. You know, if he walkin in or backin in, they ain’t even room to turn around so how Crabdaddy gonna carry tools in there?

Crabdaddy ain’t even seen the smoke detector in there. Hell Crabdaddy can’t even find out how you make it flush ( yeah that was me, all you nice folks on flight 1532, Crabdaddy real sorry he couldn’t find the handle, and that he had that greasy breakfast burrito just before the flight.)

But one thing Crabdaddy did learn was the correct way to fasten the seat-belt on the airplane after 6 video’s. That gotta count for something. Pura Vida!

Travelin Monday!

Crabdaddy & Crabmommy packin up and gettin ready to leave real early Monday to go back .  We had a wonderful time vistin with Bullet.

Crabdaddy be back postin real soon, Good Lord willin!

Havin A Wonderful Time!

Crabdaddy & Crabmommy havin a wonderful time with Bullet! Went to lunch yesterday at a really good place, and then it was shoppin, shoppin, shoppin, then some more shoppin. Only way Crabdaddy could top that today is if he go to the emergency dentist and get some fillins, maybe have a couple pulled.

Long time ago Crabdaddy ate some of those clams that come in a can. Couple hours later some of those clams wanted to surface, oooh was Crabdaddy sick. Guess shoppin better than that, but not by much.

One thing Crabdaddy been wantin is a new knife. Crabdaddy been lookin and studyin on the internet for about a month  now. It the only thing he wanted.  It  either gonna be a Glock or a Ka-Bar, but Crabdaddy wanted to see one before he get it.

By the time we got the nose hair trimmer and the other $400 worth of crap at Wal-Mart the knife place closed .  Be open Monday at 9:00, Crabdaddy leavin Monday at 6:30.

Like he said, Cabdaddy love shoppin!

We Here!

Ok, Crabdaddy & Crabmommy here wit Bullit, poor little Crabdoggy not here.  Crabdoggy’s stayin wit his Aunt’s, they gonna take real good care of him , But Crabdaddy sure do miss him.

It sure is good to see Bullet, Crabdaddy & Crabmommy so happy to be here.  We gonna do a little shoppin and a little visitin with Bullet and we gonna have a real good time.

Crabdaddy just wanted to let all both blog readers know it all good here with Bullet!

Gonna See Bullet!

Crabdaddy & Crabmommy gonna go see Bullet for a few days. It be good to see him again. Gonna do a little shoppin and maybe get some fast food we can’t get here. Do they still have the McRib at McDonalds?

Hope everybody have a good next few days and Crabdaddy be postin again when he get back.

Well Digger

Ok, so we gettin the well dug a little deeper, guy gonna start Monday. Monday come , no digger. Tuesday, no digger, so after lunch Crabdaddy & Auggie go lookin for well digger. Now Auggie is like the best guy ever. He don’t speak much English and Crabdaddy don’t speak much Spanish, but we communicate just fine. Nobody outside one of my kids Crabdaddy rather share a beer with than Auggie. He just a fine man and Crabdaddy proud he his friend.

So we go to well digger’s house and he home. He and his buddy Minor just hangin out. (Crabdaddy ask Auggie what well digger’s name is and Auggie say he don’t know so we just go with Digger.) So Auggie, Digger, and Minor start talkin and if these boys got paid by the word they would all be rich. Crabdaddy playin with Digger’s dog and he understand about every 40th word. After bout 10 minutes and 2K -3K words Crabdaddy, Auggie and Minor load up in the truck and head to Minor’s house which is down behind Super Henry, the local 7 /11 Store. So Minor goes to the back of the house and after a bit comes back with the oldest “come-a-long” (hand winch) in Central America. He then commences to pullin on it cause it stuck. After 10 minutes of pullin we load it and us and get back in the truck and head back to Digger’s house.

Well the come-a-long is still stuck and we gotta have it so Digger can dig the well deeper. So when we get to Digger’s house we all four commence to pullin on it from different directions. Finally got it broke loose. There we are 3 happy Tico’s and a gringo. Pura Vida!

Tomorrow Digger gonna dig our well deeper, if he remembers. If not I guess Crabdaddy and Auggie go get him again.

Pepsi Run!

The other day Crabmommy run out of Pepsi and say , “go get some Pepsi Crabdaddy and take Crabdoggy with you”. Crabdaddy really glad to have the keys back cause this means he ain’t grounded no more. So here we go and Crabdoggy really excited cause he love to ride in the truck. When we get to the road, there is Shezam runnin around ,so Crabdaddy pick her up and put her in the truck with Crabdoggy cause she a dumb chicken and she ain’t supposed to be runnin around.

Everything goin pretty good, Shezam doin ok, she seem to like ridin in the truck alright, and everything fine with Crabdoggy, he hangin out the window smilin. Normally it takes bout 20 minutes to go to the little store and back, just a nice little ride for Crabdoggy and Shezam.

Then we come up on a heard of cows, and I mean a herd, must a been 50 or more of them cows. Some of them cows got big old horns like Texas longhorns and they are not in a hurry. Yep they no where near stampede speed. Now they no way Crabdaddy can go around em so here he is stuck, on a jungle road with 50 longhorns in front of him goin so slow I think the meat agin as we walk, he got Crabdoggy tryin to get out the window to help them cows, and Shezam the chickin lookin like she wants to lay an egg if Crabdoggy will just be quiet. Crabdaddy can’t go back without Pepsi cause Crabmommy would be sad , and that “trickle down” theory would effect us pretty quickly.

Three hours later Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy, and Shezam return with Pepsi and an egg. Crabmommy worried, but glad to see us. She know how things happen in Costa Rica.  Pura Vida!

We Lookin More Alike Every Day!

Ok, so other day Crabdaddy sittin in the truck with Crabdoggy and we just sittin cause Crabdoggy wanna go somewhere and Crabmommy took the keys away. (Guess you say Crabdaddy grounded.) So we just sittin there, workin on our next move, when outa the blue Crabdoggy say “if you Crabdaddy and I’m Crabdoggy how come we don’t look the same”? Crabdaddy don’t know what to say.

So Crabdaddy start explain how Crabdoggy a doggy and Crabdaddy not. Well Crabdaddy can see how Crabdoggy not understandin and he gettin a little sad. So Crabdaddy try a different idea. Crabdaddy explain how over time we startin to look alike little by little. Well Crabdoggy kinda buyin it, still not sure. Well here where Crabdaddy got lucky. Crabdaddy got them clear plastic seat covers on the seats with the little buttons on em. And the buttons had made marks in Crabdaddy’s back so Crabdaddy took off he shirt and showed Crabdoggy. And it worked, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy both got marks so Crabdoggy figure we are startin to look alike.

The things Crabdaddy do for that doggy.

Academy Awards!

It was an excitin night at the Crabshack watchin the Academy Awards.  The most popular people in the world givin themselves awards for bein the most popular. (Do we love ourselves or what?)

Right after the award for “Best Assistant To The Guy With The Key To The Prop Room”, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy went out side for a smoke.  When we got there we remembered we don’t smoke so we came back in.   Well, Crabdoggy chased the biggest froggy you ever seen into the Crabshack.  (Crabdoggy been wantin to have a friend over for somethin other than supper.)   So Crabdoggy chasin the froggy, Crabmommy chasin the froggy, and Crabdaddy just makin sure his beer is ok.  Bout this time the power go out.  It a good thing Crabdaddy have his beer cause they really going crazy now.

After bout 5 minutes the power come back and everything ok.  But we can’t find froggy, and Crabmommy not happy.  So Crabdaddy don’t know what to do cause he really don’t care where froggy is, but he gotta look.  After bout 10 minutes Crabdoggy find froggy.  He in a corner, scared to death.  So we pick froggy up and put him out, told Crabdoggy they could play tomorrow and back we go to watchin the awards.

Crabdaddy missed seein who won for “Best  Foreign Language Documentary Of A Subject Nobody  Gives A Shit About”.   But that bout all he missed.

Crabdaddy gonna go lay down, he tired after all this.

http://alphainventions.com/ Helpin Us!

Crabdaddy gotta go to San Jose Sunday and Crabdoggy can’t go. Crabmommy gonna take really good care of him and he gonna take really good care of her.

So Crabdaddy suggest you go back and read some of the old post, they like cheese, they still good after a long time. And check out Alpha Inventions when you through here. (Yep, another cheap attemp for hits. Told you Crabdaddy not proud , look at the title of the post.)

Happy Birthday John!

Well, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy wanna wish John “Happy Birthday”. John is a real good friend of Strikers. Crabdaddy heard Striker talk bout John for years and got to meet him last year when Crabmommy said “enough, go somewhere”, so Crabdaddy went to see Striker and got to meet John.

John is the kinda guy you really like right off when you meet him. Crabdaddy is really glad Striker got a friend like John. Everybody should be so lucky as to have a friend like John.

John love doggy’s too so Crabdaddy know Crabdoggy would love John!

So John, you have a really good birthday, and Crabdaddy hope to see you again this year!

Happy Birthday John!

Who’s Right?

So Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy sittin outside the other night and get to talkin bout who know more Spanish words. Crabdaddy counted up his and he know like 42. Crabdoggy say he know 14. So Crabdaddy figure he won, but Crabdoggy say nope.

Well, winner get the last pork rind , but when Crabdaddy reach for it Crabdoggy growled at him. So Crabdaddy say “when is 14 more than 42″? Crabdoggy say he get to count like dog years so 14 x 7 = 98, and 98 more than 42. Crabdaddy say Crabdoggy gotta divide by 7 which mean he know 2.

So now we stuck. We would appreciate some help figurin out who right, cause the pork rind gettin kinda old.

We Gettin There!

The other day Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy watchin the Alcoholic Channel on TV. And this guy makin all these really unusual drinks with funny names, but he never mentioned “Billygrape”. So Crabdaddy googled Billygrape, and there it was, about 10 down. “Crabdaddy / Billygrape”. That pretty cool.

So Crabdaddy go to Wikipieda and tried “Billygrape”, but they don’t have it. Crabdaddy though Wikipieda had everything. Well they might have everything but Billygrape.

Crabdaddy guess the question is a 2 parter:

#1: Should Billygrape be in Wikipieda? (It in google, seems like Wikipieda should list it.)

#A: How we get Billygrape in Wikipieda? (This is a moo point if you answer no to question #1)

Crabdaddy listening, so whatca think?

Did it Again!

So Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy sittin outside last night studyin the new book we sent off for, “You Can Hypnotize Anyone”. We think we gettin it so Crabdoggy says, bet you can’t hypnotize Shezam. Well, Crabdaddy know he can, after all, Shezam just a dumb chicken, and Crabdaddy done had 4 Billygrapes so he believe anything.

Well Shezam is over in a corner peckin away at somethin in the yard so Crabdaddy get down on all fours and eases over there. Then like the book say he look Shezam right in the eye and start speakin calmly. Well next thing Crabdaddy know Shezam done pecked him right between the eyes at about the time somethin start bittin Crabdoggy in the butt. So Crabdoggy gnawin at that, Crabdaddy rollin on the gound bleedin, and Shezam runnin all over cluckin, and here come Crabmommy. She see what goin on( she see everything) and pick up Shezam and all she say is “you idiot’s did it again, you sleepin out here tonight.

Crabdaddy had another “Billygrape” and called it a night. You can’t hypnotize chickens, Crabdaddy don’t care what that book say.

Goodbye All-Star!

Here a picture of Crabdoggy & All-Star.

We lost All-Star the other day to that big grill in the sky, but we ain’t tellin Crabdoggy cause he so emotional. Fact is Crabdaddy never tell Crabdoggy when we havin one of his friends over for dinner. Just seems better that way.

Crabdoggy Present !

So Crabdoggy tell Crabdaddy the other day he want one of those pictures of the doggy’s sittin round playin cards. Crabdaddy tell him he can’t afford one of the really nice ones on velvet but we try and get a regular one.

Next day we go to town lookin for the picture, Crabdoggy so excited. First couple places they look at Crabdaddy like he a dumb @ss gringo……… they right. Finally we find a little shop on a side street and we tell Jose what we lookin for. Jose say he got em for $1000 colones ( $1.00 US) Well , price sounds good but the “um” kinda worry Crabdaddy.

Anyway Jose gone a real long time and Crabdaddy have’ta take Crabdoggy to find a tree cause we split a Grape Fanta (they are quite refreshing) on the way down and Crabdoggy “dancin”.

So we go out back and there Jose runnin around chasin frogs. And when he catch one he put em in a pot. Crabdaddy say “what the heck you doin Jose?” and Jose just smile as he put another one in the pot. He so proud, then he bring this pot of frogs over to Crabdaddy.

Turns out Crabdaddy Spanish not too good ( we knew that) and “frogs in a pot” sound a lot like “we wanna see if you got”, so when Crabdaddy say “we wanna see if you got a photo of doggy’s playin cards?” Jose misunderstood the first part and didn’t hear the last part.

Well Crabdaddy gotta take the frogs cause Jose work so hard gettin em. And Crabdoggy like em, he always playin with em so we pay Jose and all get in the truck. That right, Crabdaddy, Crabdoggy , and the pot of frogs back in the truck.

When we got home Crabdaddy let the froggy’s go in back of the Crabshack and Crabdoggy out there playin with them right now. Crabdoggy havin a much better time than the froggy’s are.

For now Crabdoggy forgot about his picture, but soon as he chase all the froggy’s off he be right back wantin it, so if any you got any bright idea’s where to get one please let Crabdaddy know, he sure appreciate it.

Thanks http://alphainventions.com/

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy restin today so we goin for the cheap hits!  Thanks Alpha Inventions for leadin all these fine folks here.  Hope you will read some of me & Crabdoggy’ stories.  We got it goin on, so please check it out and come back often.  We see you Monday!

Happy Valentine’s Day Crabmommy!

Hey, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy want to say “Happy Valentines Day” Crabmommy.

We sorry for all the times we screw up .

We sorry you always cleanin up after us.

We sorry we forget to do stuff.

We sorry Crabdaddy get on your nerves sometime. (Everybody know bout this one.)

But we so glad you look after us, and take care of us, and make our lives complete.

We love you so much , and we so grateful you love us!

Sleepin In!

Think Crabdoggy kinda sleepin in today. Late nite last nite. OK, so Crabmommy gone off doin somethin and Crabdoggy say he hungry. Well it ain’t like back in the states and we could just hop in the the truck and drive to get take out and sit in the parkin lot and eat. (Crabmommy would get sooo mad when we do that cause Crabdoggy always order ribs, and he would get sauce all over everything.)

So anyway, Crabdoggy hungry so we fire up the grill and get some beers but it gonna take a little time to make the burgers and everything and Crabdaddy hear Crabdoggy stomach growlin. So Crabdaddy figure we just have a little snack. So Crabdaddy get out a big bowl of salsa and a bowl of re-fried beans caues it ready and it good and he set it down for Crabdoggy. Well, that was one happy doggy. So we eatin the snacks, and we drinkin the beers and Bob Marley on the radio “Jamin” and we just got it goin on.

Well here come Crabmommy and she not happy. “What the @#4%** are you idiots doin?” I believe was her exact words. So Crabdoggy look up from the salsa bowl at me and start waggin he tail. He got salsa all over him and the floor. Crabdaddy don’t know what to do now so he offered Crabmommy a Dorito. She screamed somethin that indicated she would not care for one. Guess she don’t like “Cool Ranch’.

Turns out Crabmommy was havin some folks over and that was snacks for them. So Crabdaddy cooked out them burgers for them instead (did slip one to Crabdoggy), and I guess it worked out ok. Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy did have to sleep out on the patio though which was fine cause, whew, that salsa & beans gave Crabdoggy the gas.

But it all OK now, we got it goin on. Like  Grandcrabdaddy always say “son, learn from your mistakes”. Crabdaddy learned Crabmommy don’t like “Cool Ranch Dorito’s”.

Congratulations Stump!

OK, Crabdaddy said we had to send congratulations to Stump, the 10 year old doggy, that won the Westminster Kennel Club , “Best In Show” award. Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy stayed up and watched it the other night and it was excitin. Crabdoggy decided he want to be in the show next year.

Crabdaddy got a couple little problems with bein in the show next year, but we ain’t tellin Crabdoggy yet.

Number one problem is not sure what breed Crabdoggy is. We think he a cross between a black bear and a Chow. Guess that make him ” Bear Chow”. Purina gotta like that.

Other problem gonna be harder to fix , or should say un-fix. Crabdaddy had Crabdoggy uh, “tutered” when he little. Crabdoggy don’t really know, and he ain’t never asked so we just leave it at that. Not the kinda thing Crabdaddy want to bring up cause how you explain that.

So for now Crabdaddy guess we just keep trainin, pretty soon Crabdoggy get tired and we just forget the whole thing.

But anyway “Congratulations Stump” you one cool old doggy!

Moleskine

OK, so the other day me & Crabdoggy sittin round figgurin out our next move. We got some time on our hands cause we plan ahead. ( We plannin on doin tomorrow what we supossed to do today.) Well, Crabdaddy got that disease where he can’t remember nothin unless he write it down, so he writtin it down in he Moleskine and it occured to him that some of you may not know about Moleskine. For those that do, please indulge us.

Moleskine’s are amazing little notebooks. Crabmommy gave Crabdaddy one a few years ago for Christmas and he loved em ever since. Crabdoggy love em cause they the same color he is.

Go check out these websites, they got it goin on. Moleskine and Moleskinerie.

Or just google “moleskine”

If you never heard of Moleskine you gonna thank Crabdaddy for this!

Go Get You A Crabdoggy!

Thats right. All you folks out there that like company, but sometime don’t like people, you need a Crabdoggy. All his life Crabdaddy wanted a Crabdoggy who would just follow him around when Crabdaddy doin stuff or jump in the truck everytime the door open.

Crabdaddy just come in from a project and Crabdoggy was helpin. That right Crabdoggy just lay there and watch. He don’t say “that don’t look right” or “why you drill the hole there?’ or “you think throwin the wrench at it will help?” or “you just had a break” or “you just finished a beer”. Crabdoggy don’t say none of that. He just look at Crabdaddy with those big brown eyes and say “I love you Crabdaddy”, and Crabdaddy love him too.

Go get you a Crabdoggy, they pretty much fun.

We Need Some Input!

Yep, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy love WordPress & Alpha Inventions. To let us put stuff here for free is cool. They got it goin on. But Crabdaddy don’t know how to work all the stuff on the blog. I mean what the hell is a pingback? Cabdaddy thought that was somethin them submarine boys use. And a “widget”, took Crabdaddy a month before he realize it wasn’t something Roadrunner bought from “Acme”. (Crabdaddy love Roadrunner, he remind him of Crabdoggy’s cousin Woody)

Crabdaddy want to know what you think bout changein the colors? You know maybe like red or green or somethin? He don’t know, he just trin things. We know we got it goin on cause the hits gettin better. ( One day we had 7, that right 7! pretty damn proud of that!). Crabdaddy just tryin to keep it “fresh”.

And what we gotta do to be one of them “Hot Community Post”? Talk about the weather? Crabdaddy see one dude on there all the time talking about weather. Ok , Crabdaddy talk about the weather , “it hot”, “it was yesterday, it hot now, and it will be hot tomorrow” you can bet your @ss on that.

So put Crabdaddy on that “Hot Community Post”. Heck put Crabdoggy on the VIP post. Go google Crabdoggy and see if his name don’t come up. We won that award , you know the “BONK” award!

Help us out , put us on the front page WordPress. We got it goin on here!

It Sunday!

Well here it is Sunday. Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy gonna rest. We  gonna just be thinking about stuff that happened to us this week.

Think Crabdaddy put Alpha Inventions link in this post and watch the hits.    There      “Alpha Inventions” .    I know, I know, it a cheap way to get hits. And Crabdaddy don’t want to mislead nobody , but hey it make Crabdoggy happy to see them hits.

Tell you what, send Crabdoggy a comment or email and that make him real happy.  And when Crabdoggy happy, we all better off.  (case you forgot:  crabdoggy@gmail.com)

Have a nice Sunday and Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy see you next week, Good Lord willin!

Saturday,

Ok, so the weekend here. Any big plans? Crabdaddy don’t have any. May go up to the little school and do some paintin. That about it. It been sooo hot here. I know some of you folks wish you had some of this weather. Crabdaddy wish you did too. He really sorry.

Crabdaddy may see if he can sharpen he machete sometime this weekend. Seems Crabdaddy needed to learn the 3 machete rules for they let him have a sharp one.

Machete Rules as Crabdaddy understand em}

1. Don’t cut Crabdaddy.

2. Don’t cut hombre next to you.

3. Don’t cut wasp nests.

That pretty much it.

Well, Crabdaddy gotta go. He appreciate you comin, and please come back, we gonna do better.

Thank You!

You know, The Good Lord has always looked after Crabdaddy. I know He has.

The other day Crabdaddy came in from paintin fence posts and he was hot. Let Crabdaddy tell you the sun in Costa Rica is hot. And it will burn you up quick. So anyway Crabdaddy came in and he hot. He done spent the last two days paintin fence post. Now it ain’t that Crabdaddy got that many posts. It just for health concerns, keepin hydrated and all, Crabdaddy would paint a post then drink an Imperial. Then a post, another Imperial. So after 8 fence posts Crabdaddy forgot what he doin and wandered off. So when he come back the power off which mean no water. Which mean no shower. Which mean another Imperial and nite nite.

So here Crabdaddy is, day two and we still paintin fence post. Sun is hotter that blazes. Crabdoggy sooo tired he just passed out by the fan. And finally Crabdaddy finish fence post and come in and guess what , no water. They workin on it. So Crabdddy feelin kinda down and sticky and tired so he open up his mail and guess what? There a nice note from Flamenco Dancer thankin Crabdaddy for his writin. I gotta tell ya, picked Crabdaddy right up! Thank you Flamenco Dancer, you made my day!

No Power!

Ooh , Crabdaddy gotta be quick. He got no power and we runnin on generator. Don’t know why but will let you all both know as soon as he can. Crabdady love you!

What Goin On? ( Besides Me & Crabdoggy)

So the other day Crabdoggy out watchin his cousins Luna & Woody. He tryin to see where they hidin the “dumb @ss” pills they seem to have an endless supply of. Crabmommy was busy cleanin somethin up, and Crabdaddy was just sitin. Did you know if you google Google you get 2,636,000,000 hits. That a lot. If you yahoo Yahoo you get 8,180,000,000. That more.

If you look up google in the dictionary the first thing it say is “internet search engine”. If you look up yahoo it say “rude & violent person”.

Now you may ask Crabdaddy, “Crabdaddy what do this mean?”. It mean Crabdaddy had time on his hands and it too early for a d@mn beer. (Think I, filin this one under research & Knowledge. It’s post like this one why we won that award!)

Baby Crabdoggy !

These are a couple pictures Crabdaddy found of Crabdoggy when he was a baby. I gotta say he was pretty cute. Not sure what happened.

Flamingo or Flamenco ?

Crabdoggy asked me the other day what the difference was between flamingo or flamenco? Got Crabdaddy to thinkin some of you might want to know too.

Flamingo’s are pink birds with legs like one of the Olsen twins, ( the skinny one) and are found on lawns of really classy houses and trailers and the Hialeah race track.
Flamenco is a style of music invented by Esteban the great guitar player on Home Shopping Network. He also invented a dance that they use sometime on Dancing with the Stars. You may remember Esteban’s older brother Esteban. He was eaten while on an expedition with Steve Zissou the famous explorer. It is believed to have been the mysterious Jaguar shark that attacked Esteban. Esteban wrote a song about his brother Esteban after the attack. The song was originally called “I’ve got a Jaguar by the Tail” but later when Buck Owens recorded the song Esteban asked that Jaguar be changed to Tiger because it was just too painful in it’s original form.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy hope you find this useful!

Well Thats It!

Steelers are world champions and Crabdaddy thought that was a heck of a game.  Crabdoggy really happy cause as he call him “Da Burger” won.  But that was a fine game.  Sorry for the Cardinals, but they played real good cept for that one little play as the half ended.  Ouch, that one  hurt

Crabdaddy didn’t think too much of them commercials though.  Most were either really dumb or just average.  But then Crabdaddy and Crabdoggy ain’t their target market so what do he know.

Crabdaddy was really glad to see Joe Namath too.  All you young folks ask some of us old folks about Joe Namath,  That boy was a “rock star”.

Crabdaddy gotta cut this short. He got some problems at the well and he gonna need to spend a little time there today staring at the pump while somebody that knows what they doin fix it.

Pura Vida, and we catch you later.  Go Steelers! Sorry Cards!

Thanks alphainventions.com

Hey Crabdaddy know it a cheap shot to get traffic to here, but it does meet our standards. ( Which tells you somethin bout our standards.) Thanks to http://alphainventions.com/ Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy got a lot of new friends this week. And we really hope you come back often.

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy put up our Super Bowl ( or Supper Bowl as Crabdoggy like to call it) post this morning and we think we gonna go start getting ready for the game now. Today we gota make sure we got supplies, you know , beer, chips, doggy treats. Then tomorrow we rest.

If one of us was to have a thought between now and Monday we post it. Otherwise we gonna see you Monday. And remember we love you……Well some of you , the rest of you we just really fond of!  Pura Vida!

Supper Bowl

Well, Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy really ready for this Super Bowl, although Crabdoggy think it’s Supper Bowl!

Crabdaddy been watchin em ever since he little. They been around almost as long as the country has. That right. This is the 43rd Super Bowl, and OBama is the 44th President, so see, almost as long! (Hey you know if you put a G in front of President’s name you get GOBama. That right there carry one state in the south next time.)

Anyway, Crabdaddy like both teams. They quaterbacks got it goin on. Crabdoggy really like that Pittsburgh quarterback cause his name ends in “burger”.( I tell you, sometime Crabdoggy a dumb@ss.) Crabdaddy like that other quarterback, Kurt Warner. He and his brother Kurt Russel, got that movie studio, Warner Brothers. Think they cousin Russell Crowe in there too with his wife Sheryl Crow. ( How the hell did Crabdaddy go from Super Bowl to Russell Crowe’s wife?) Anyway Cradaddy lookin forward to the game. Hope it a good one and nobody get hurt! Crabdoggy lookin forward to the commercials!

Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy hope everybody have a good “Supper Bowl” weekend!

New Award!

Yep, me & Crabdoggy so excited. What you lookin at is the award Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy won for “Best Overall New Knowledge” in a blog.

That right ” we got BONK’ed” and we so happy!

We want to thank all you both readers for makin it possible. You, and Crabdoggy. This his idea. He watched one of those award shows and saw them all smilin and hugging and pattin each other on the back cause they give themselves these awards and Crabdoggy say “we can do that.” So we did!

Now we promise to maintain the same standards as always. (If you were hopin for improvement, Crabdaddy don’t think that possible, considerin our limited skills. Pretty sure we peaked.) We got it goin on pretty good though, and we gonna keep it that way.

If any of you would like to be considered for this prestigious award just leave your name in the comments and I’m pretty sure you can get one too. (Hell they can’t be that prestigious, we got one.)

And if you got any questions or suggestions just email em to Crabdoggy at crabdoggy@gmail.com or leave us a comment. And we thank you!

alphainventions.com Got It Goin On!

That right, http://alphainventions.com/ got it goin on! Crabdaddy found them yesterday after they kind enough to show some folks our blog. Crabdaddy couldn’t figure out how it work so he called Crabdoggy. Well Crabdoggy say “don’t bother me , I’m playin with my cousins”. So Crabdaddy went to the Alpha Inventions.com site and they couldn’t explain so he understand it. I mean they new, it just Crabdaddy what you call”challenged” in several areas regarding understanding things.

But anyway Crabdaddy so happy to find them he put a link or somethin on the blog and he would encourage you to check em out. Heck Crabdaddy saw 14,376 blogs go by yesterday. (Crabdoggy was outside playin with them dumb ass cousins all day and all Crabmommy would say was “get the hell away from me”. so you might say Crabdaddy had some free time.)

Crabdoggy So Excited!!

Well, the other day me and Crabdoggy come in from……….. , shit I forgot where we came in from, anyway we come in. And he say to me, ” Crabdaddy , lets google somethin” and Crabdaddy say ok , “What You wanna google?”. Cause I figure he the brains, but Crabdaddy got the pose able thumbs. Well he dont say nothin. So Crabdaddy google “blogs about nothin”. Shit.! We get 69,000,000 hits. What does that tell you about Americans? Yep, we got some time on our hands, that what we got.

But here the good part. We google “Crabdoggy”. And what you think we get? Yep, you guessed it . We got Crabdoggy . Yep , his name right there. Crabdoggy was so happy! He jump up and scratch the shit outta Crabdaddy. We also got a bunch of stuff, but that ain’t important. Little Crabdoggy name was “first”. He so Happy!

Now that damn google say” Did you mean Crab Doggy?”. And Crabdaddy say “no I did not”. “If he did’ev he would’ev” damn google. Anyway Crabdoggy happy.

So all you both faithful readers of this blog can just “google” Crabdoggy (no google I did NOT mean “Crab Doggy”) and see what goin on. Cause believe me it goin on here!  Pura Vida!

Surf’s Up!

Well, Crabdaddy been givin it a lot of thought and he thinkin bout taken up surfin. He watched a show on TV and it looked pretty cool. And he right here in one of the best surfin spots in the world, so he figure why not. So he started practing. He been listenin to The Beach Boys and carryin Crabmommy’s ironin board around the house. And that where the problems started.

Crabdaddy waited for Crabmommy and Crabdoggy to go off for a walk. Then he took the ironin board and put it in the pool to try standin on it. Kinda get the feel of it you know. That damn ironin board sank faster than the Dow when it heard W. might be tryin for 3 terms. So Crabdaddy went to plan B. , Crabdoggy’s waterbed. That right Crabdoggy got a waterbed. It one them “cool beds” that keeps Crabdoggy cool. (He love his bed.) Ok, so Crabdaddy put on some sweet tunes on the music thing, and he lay the board on the waterbed and he step on. And you know, it feel pretty cool, you could lean from one side to the other just like you surfin. Well everything goin good, Crabdaddy got an Imperial in one hand and he leanin this way and that and lookin in the mirror, and the Beach Boys singin “Be True To Your School”, and it all good. Then he look down and see water comin outta Crabdoggy bed. First thought was “shit”, second thought was too. Then he look up and see Crabmommy & Crabdoggy standin there in water just lookin in disbelief. And Crabmommy say “what the hell is goin on?” and all Crabdaddy could think to say was “surfs up”. Well she turn and walk off shakin her head, but Crabdoggy just stood here. Then he walk over and sniff his Chickin toy which was kinda under the surf ,er ironin board. Seems Crabdaddy mashed the squeaker outta Chicken and layed the board on it and it punched a hole in Crabdoggy’s bed.

So first Crabdoggy start cryin, and he sniffed Chicken again, and he sniffed his bed, then he pick up broken Chicken, so by now Crabdaddy feelin like shit cause Crabdoggy feelins really hurt, he love Chicken so much. So they only one thing Crabdaddy could do. He fired up the grill, got out 2 cold Imperials, and threw on one steak and cooked it for Crabdoggy. (Thought I was cookin Crabmommy’s steak, turned out to be Crabdaddy’s). Crabdoggy ate the whole damn steak and his Imperial and half of Crabdaddy’s.

We got squeaker back in Chicken and put a bicycle tire patch on Crabdoggy’s bed and all was OK in Crabdoggy world. He still love me, and thats what counts. That one cool doggy. Oh, and Crabmommy she fine, she lean not to expect much from Crabdaddy and he don’t let her down!  Pura Vida!

Relaxin !

You know Crabdaddy & Crabdoggy kinda tired so we think we gonna take it easy today. We been workin on some stuff this week and Crabdoggy been playin with his cousins Woody & Luna and we just kinda tired.

So like we said before, go back and read some of the posts, they really helpful & good . And don’t forget to look at the chart it really is a good one , you can find it under Education for $600. Hey, how you like the categories? They got it goin on we think.

And keep those emails comin to Crabdoggy, they make him so happy.

Bella!

Hey, Crabdoggy been wantin Crabdaddy to put a picture of his niece, Bella, up for all everybody to see. Crabdoggy like her just fine. Thought you might too.

Bad thing is though her mommy, Pretty Pretty Princess called and said Bella scratched her eye really bad and her doctor say she gotta have 2 kinds of drops. She gonna be ok, but we not gonna tell Crabdoggy cause he get really emotional. And when Crabdoggy really emotional he usually gonna bite the shit outa somebody. So we just let him see her picture and not read him this.

So go ahead and let Crabdoggy know how much you like his niece and it will make him real happy and thats good. Cause when he happy he wigglin and movin all over. It when he sad Crabdaddy got problems!

Toucan for Stef & Alicia

This was it!

Ok , Stef & Alicia, we got proof now. The picture on the box is them. SuperMega never did get in the Froot Loops, but Jimmy T’s had them so now we goin. Crabdaddy was pretty sure it was Toucans in his backyard but was beginin to worry a little. Last thing Crabdaddy want to do is put something on the web that not true. (Ok , maybe not last thing, but it up there.)

Crabdaddy was pretty sure they weren’t Parrots cause they nose was longer and he ain’t seen no Pirates around. But low and behold he look out the other day and what do he see…………..yep Parrots. Dozens of em. Crabdaddy ain’t never see so many. It like he livin in Wild Kingdom. Any day he expect to see Marlon & Jim climbin up the hill, or Bear Grills askin to borrow some garlic for whatever he eaten this time.

But don’t worry bout the Pirates. We so far up in the mountains Crabdaddy don’t think they gonna come this far. And even if they do, my money on Crabdoggy.

Learn Spanish!

Ok, so Crabdaddy been tryin to learn to speak Spanish. He thought it might come in handy here. (Though sometime he think you better off not knowin what they sayin about you.) And I must say it goin pretty good. ( You may have noticed in another post he use some Spanish. “Donde es Crabdaddy”. ) Well the other day we was down pickin up some pizzas, me & Crabdoggy, and while we was waitin we start talkin to this really nice lady, and guess what she said her name was? That right, Rosetta Stone. I tell you you just never know who you gonna run into down here in a bar on the beach. So we talked a bit and I told her I was trying to learn to speak Spanish and she taught me some words. You know like, donde and esta and some more that Crabdaddy forgot. But he could tell she really knew what she was doin.

So then (here the good part) she say she could sell me the whole Spanish lesson for my computer. Now Crabdaddy tell her he don’t have much money, (cause that Rosetta Stone lesson is expensive) and he computer kinda old. But she explain to me that it the same Spanish they been teachin for years and not to worry. If they was a problem we could call the tech support number she gave me. Then she asked Crabdaddy how much money he had, and it turned out the $32 in cash and Crabdoggy’s large peperoni would cover it. ( Now Crabdoggy was pissed, but peperoni gives him gas anyway, and Crabdoggy with gas will peal paint off the walls!)

Well here the problem, we get it home and we all excited cause we figure we gonna be talkin Spanish before the night out but it don’t have the right key code on the box. So I called the support number Rosetta give me and they don’t speak English so Crabdaddy don’t know what the hell they sayin. If Crabdaddy could understand them he wouldn’t have spent all that money and Crabdoggy’s pizza on the damn lesson.

So Rosetta, if you see this please email Crabdaddy the correct key code or an address where he can return this so he can get his money back. He also want the $14 for the damn pizza. Also did you give me back my watch after you asked to see it, Crabdaddy don’t remember, but he can’t find it.

Crabshack

Crabshack!

Well, here you go. Many of you have asked where Crabdaddy live. Well it kinda hard to say cause he don’t really have an address. So he figured it would help to put up a picture of the Crabshack. It pretty sweet since we added on, right?

You can email crabdoggy if you need directions, he in charge of logistics. Or you can just go to Jaco (remember how to pronounce Jaco) and just say “Donde es Crabdaddy?” They tell you. But if for some reason that don’t work go find a bar, order an Imperial, and wait for a dumbass lookin gringo with a dog to come walkin by. That won’t be me, but I probably be along shortly. You will recognize me cause I look like Crabdaddy, and we the same age. Then we go have an Imperial while we figure out our next move.

Welcome Mr. President Obama !

Crabdaddy want to say, “Thank you for the hope you bring to all of the world. We need you sir, our prayers are with you”.

Goodby W !

Well, it time to say goodbye to our old President and welcome to our new President. Crabdaddy is sentimental. He hate to see people leave most of the time. But this ain’t one of them, and after 8 years it good to know we found out one thing he was good at. Clearing brush and public speakin. I know that two things , so you pick the one you think. And Crabdaddy just say “goodbye Mr. President, and don’t hurt yourself with the weedwacker”.

Weekend.

Well, Crabdaddy gonna rest a little today and tomorrow. They be some pretty good football on that he gonna watch.

Don’t forget about Crabdoggy’s new email address (crabdoggy@gmail.com), he really like gettin them emails from you. He hasn’t been feelin too good the last day or so, so it will cheer him up. I really think he poutin caus I wouldn’t buy him a new toy the other day in Jaco, But he got so many now Crabdaddy be trippin on them in the middle of the night when he hasta get up. Crabdaddy say “no more toys, and he got pissed and he ain’t spoke since. It hard, but you gotta teach em.

Well anyway Crabdaddy hope you have yourself a fine weekend and we be back with some stories Monday.  Now is a good time to go back and read some of them old post you might have missed, they still there.

We just makin it up as we go along. Pura Vida!

Crabdoggy is Free of the Fungus!

Fungus Free Crabdoggy!

We are pleased to say that Crabdoggy is fungus free! Yesterday we all loaded up in the truck and went to see his doctor in Jaco . The doc look at him and scrape some stuff off him and look at it and say “Crabdoggy is fungus free”. That music to my ears I tell you. Crabdoggy got so excited he bit the shit outta the little technician who was just standin there.

Now just a tip, Jaco is pronounced like “hocko, or hock-o, or ock-o, anything but Jock-o or Jack-o or Ja-co. You call it that , they gonna have some fun with you. And believe me, that always winds up costin you some money.

The picture you see is from the other night when Crabmommy was out of town and me & Crabdoggy was sittin around havin some shots of tequila. We got to talkin and he says to me “Crabdaddy, I think I need my own email address”. And I says “that ok with me cause I gettin all this junk in mine that you signin up for”.

So from now on, you can reach Crabdoggy at crabdoggy@gmail.com. ( That is if one of us can remember his password! Pura Vida!

Sherlock Holmes!

Crabdaddy a big fan of Sherlock Holmes. Crabdaddy’s daughter, Pretty Pretty Princess, gave him some Sherlock Holmes CD’s for Christmas and let me tell you, Sherlock got it goin on. (Crabdaddy thinkin about changin Bullet’s name).

Sherlock don’t have DNA testin, he don’t have a Blackberry, he don’t have a Hummer, he don’t have a pretty girl assistant, hell, he don’t even have sunglasses. All he got is Watson. But he can solve them crimes. He get Crabdaddy so confused he gotta watch it twice and still don’t know how he figured it out.

Crabdaddy think this movie Richy Rich’s little brother comin out with gonna do just fine. He got that the Iron Man playin Holmes and that guy the Beatles wrote that song about “Hey Jude”, playin Watson. Yep it gonna do just fine. Crabdaddy don’t mind givin it a little plug here for nothin though, but if they want to send Crabdaddy one of them Deerslayer hats Holmes wore that would be just fine too. Crabdaddy need something to keep the sun off when he surfin.

Well , Crabdaddy gotta go check Crabdoggy, he smilin bout somethin, Pura Vida!

Congratulations University of Tebow !

Crabdaddy sorry he forgot to congratulate the University of Tebow on his national championship. I know Texas, Utah, & USC would like to congratulate him too, along with thankin the BCS for givin us a true national champion.

Word to the Tebow nation though, enjoy it now. And enjoy the one next year too, cause after that you gonna not have Tebow and you not gonna have you coach. He gonna be goin to the Irish. Wait and see.

And Crabdaddy won’t blame the Irish for goin after Meyer , he one fine coach. But many people don’t know why he so competitive. Crabdaddy gonna tell you. It come from his father, Oscar. That right, Oscar Meyer was Urban Meyers father. And little Urban had to ride around in that damn wiener car his whole life. Now it was cool when he was little, but when Urban got to be a teenager it wasn’t so cool. And everyone laughed and pointed when they seen Urban comin in that wiener. And that is why he so competitive.

I bet you didn’t know that!

New Apple Netbook Computer?

Macmuffi

OK, here we go. Big news. What you lookin at is a picture of the new soon to be released Apple/McDonalds computer. Crabdaddy real sorry the picture ain’t better but take his word for it, it pretty sweet.

The name of the new computer is Macmuffin. The target market is gonna be the new netbook kinda computer. Small, but fast , and you can take this everywhere.

The standard Macmuffin gonna come with 1 gig Ram, 120 gig hard drive, WiFi, & 2 USB ports. (Sorry Striker, no firewire). It gonna have a 6″ screen. It runs on 4 AA batteries. It gonna sell for about $1100. It gonna be cool.

You can Supersize the Macmuffin and get an additional 1 gig ram and a 160 gig hard drive for $200 more.

Right now there is no release date. Seems Steve Jobs and Ronald McDonald fightin over the logo on the Macmuffin. Jobs wants the same old Apple logo he been usin, but Ronald wants to put his picture in there. Jobs says “ain’t no clown goin on my lappy”.

It is rumored they close to a compromise. Talk is they gonna use a “Golden Delicious” with arches over it. Seems Ronald heard Steve maybe talkin to some other folks, Mack Truck for one, and he scared Steve may bring out a MacMack.

Crabdaddy will keep you posted.

Disclaimer, Retraction, Warning, and Apology

Ok, Crabdaddy been lookin at some of these other fine blogs on WordPress and I must say that many of you really got it goin on. Some of them are very interesting, some of them I don’t really understand (they for smarter people than Crabdaddy) and some of you just need to jack em up a little. I mean come on, do what I do, make stuff up.

And that is why I wrinin this post. I noticed some of you say “don’t copy the stuff on my blog”. OK, then don’t copy mine neither if thats the way you gonna play. But if you willin to share, Crabdaddy will too. We can make stuff up together. Based on some of your comments some of you crazy. I like that in a person.

Some of the stuff I write may not be 100% true at all times. I hope none of yall dumb enough to believe the dried meat thing. (I never tied a cow to my bike, I made that up)

And now Crabdaddy gotta give an apology to his other 2 kids. They jealous cause I mentioned their older brother, Striker Solo. So Crabdaddy want to say “hi” to his other son Bullet Cargo , and lovely daughter Pretty Pretty Princess. Yep this they given name. Striker helped some too.

Now you tell me who got 3 cooler kids name than Striker Solo, Bullet Cargo, and Pretty Pretty Princess. Crabdaddy got it goin on there.

Let me know if you need help namin your kids, me & Striker pretty good at it.

Pura Vida!

On Weekend Break

Ok, so Crabdaddy gonna go on break this weekend.  Now now, the last thing Crabdaddy want to do is disappoint all the both of fans he got for this blog.  But sometime you just gotta take care of business.

We gotta be paintin a little school up the road from the Crabshack.  And Crabdaddy is also workin on a news story so I gotta do some snoopin.

If you gotta visit, and I know some of you do, just come back and read some of the old post.  They still there, and chocked full of information you either missed, forgot or ignored.  Check out our chart from yesterday, it;s a nice one.

So everybody just behave, and Crabdaddty will be back  after the weekend.

Pura Vida!

Chart

Hey Crabdaddy don’t know what this is. But I been looking at all the cool blogs and many of them got graphs and charts and stuff and I figured we needed one too.

Hope you like it but don’t get too attached to this sorta thing cause Crabdaddy spent like 4 hours tryin do do this and I ain’t real sure what happened. It just came up. So I may not be able to do it again.

So if you get the urge to look at a cool graph just plan on coming back to this one. We lucky cause I think it’s a real good one. It got the 4 colors, it just got it goin on!

Pua Vida!

Antitrust ? Come On.

Crabdaddy don’t do it often, but he goin serious. He pissed. Seems the Utah attorney general is looking in to filin a antitrust suite against the BCS on behalf of the non-BCS conferences. Hey, Crabdaddy all for this. BCS is stupid. It do violate the antitrust laws.

But lets start where you need to. With the players. They gettin it everywhich way from Sunday and it ain’t right. They the ones gettin screwed. And DO NOT tell me they gettin a free education. Crabdaddy heard that before.

Lets examin: Before the Sugar bowl a star lineman for Alabama got suspended for talkin with a sports agent. OK, why does that need to be a rule? If the kid was going to be an accountant and he talked to a headhunter before graduation would he be suspended from class. You tell me. But do not tell me “they protectin the kids”. They protectin they ass is what they doin.

These kids can’t work cause they gotta train year round. And they sure can’t work for pay cause that might look like a “booster” helpin if the kid does a good job and the boss wants to thank him. No can’t have that.

Why is it the player has to be treated like every other student yet he not treated like every other student. He can’t do this and he can’t do that and he can’t even talk to this “guy” cause that against the rules. All the time the coaches makin a wheelbarrow load of money for this and gettin free dinners and cars and trips and who knows what.

I never seen it but I bet the NCAA got some real nice offices and I bet they don’t take the bus when they travel either. I have seen a few college presidents houses. They pretty nice I’d say.

And I think most schools have what they call a “job fair” for kids graduatin. Hmmm do that seem right when a football player can’t even talk to a guy. Explain that Mr.” We Only Lookin After The Kids” as you havin your third scotch & water before your steak dinner on expenses account.

Ok, I done, I sorry to rant but some things just ain’t right in Crabdaddy’s eyes.

Pura Vida!

I say to the Utah AG, “go for it” , but maybe it time we start givin the kids a break too,

Commercials!

Crabdaddy gonna help all you advertisers out there if you will just pay attention:

Stop using famous people to try and sell him stuff. You think Crabdaddy a dumbass? I like Jeopardy as well as the next guy but Alex Trebkek got all the answers on the cards. He used to run a horse ranch. What do he know bout insurance ? And he acts so smug. “Alex, give me Dumbass Game Show Hosts for a thousand.” I bet you the daily double. Now Howie Mandel, there is a game show host.

And Crabdaddy tired of all these fat ass old jocks selling him some kinda food in a box to help him loose weight. I’m tired of listenin to them and they just go on & on . If Crabdaddy gonna loose weight he gonna buy one of them Bowflex. He like them ads when the girls on the bowflex. He done sent off for so many of them free tapes they won’t send no more. Letter come back and say “Crabdaddy we ain’t sending you no more tapes so stop writing for them”.

And don’t get me started on the damn drug companies. They got all the money. Well them, and the oil boys. But when they tell me to talk to my doctor I say “I be glad to”, but I can’t never catch his ass in the office cause he always off on a damn trip with you boys. And then you gotta run a disclaimer (big word for Crabdaddy) at the end. How bout you working on the blurred vision, shortness of breath, diarrhea, bleeding from orifices, and death the damn drug “may” cause before I talk to Doc bout it, ok?

Whew, I gonna go have a Billygrape, I tired. Pura Vida!

Crabdaddy Football Favorites!

Many people have said to me “Crabdaddy, The BCS is stupid, why don’t you tell us who the best college football teams are and why?”

This is in no particular order. All the players got mama’s , a fact that sometimes is overlooked on talk radio.

Alabama: Any team that has Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, and Strider from “Lord of The Rings”, make a movie using their name And Steely Dan sings about them in a song is cool. But I bet you guys know what a “Ute” is now don’t ya. (Don’t worry about it, they still Utah, and you still Alabama)

Texas: Any team that got a steak as they mascot gotta be cool.

Penn State: They got Joe Pa, and that right there is good enough for Crabdaddy.

USC : Trojans,………… that is just too damn easy. But they gotta be there , that Pete Carroll just got it goin on and he is a good guy.

Ohio State: That was one tough steak you tried to eat last night though.

Oklahoma: Crabdaddy sorry, I know they have sucked in the big game, but I just like Bob Stoops. And I love that little wagon they got.

LSU: I just love LSU, they crazy, their fans crazy. ( But your coach is a dumbass.)

Ole Miss: Houston Nutt …is nuts, but the rest of the SEC better look out next year. They comin!

Georgia: People don’t come no finer than that man they got coachin.

Hey, Crabdaddy sorry to leave your team out. He don’t mean to . Lets hear who you like to add to the list.

Mr. Happy

Mr. Happy & Billygrape

Know why we call him Mr. Happy? That’s right, because

that’s his name. He is shown here with the components of that

soon to be famous drink “Billygrape”.

See James Bond go from “shaken not stirred” to

“make mine a Billygrape” in his next full length feature film

“Quantifications of The Kakeya Needle Problem”

Release date summer 2010.

Pura Vida!

Batman

This post has nothing to do with Batman.  (I did like The Dark Night very much though)  It’s just Crabdaddy got so many hits (still gettin em) from Superman he thought he would try Batman.  It is a cheap trick he know, and Crabdaddy does have standards, they are just very low as  he stated in a recent comment.

Crabdaddy is just  tired today.  It has been a long week full of information and fun.  Wonder & excitement.  We have felt sad at times, our soles filled with November. (That a heck of a line there, Crabdaddy borrowed that one from Moby Dick).  And other times  the joys of a new day. (Crabdaddy ramblin, he gonna end this paragraph now,)

Why don’t some of you leave me some topics you would like to have explained to you.  Crabdaddy can do that.  He want this blog to be for you.  Your go to blog to learn about stuff.  You don’t need to go anywhere else, we got it going on here.  Heck I put up a calender, what else you want?   Pura Vida

Fish Sticks

The other day while chatting with my oldest son, Striker Solo, (his given name, I gave it to him about 3 days ago) he asked me if I knew where fish sticks came from. Thought you might be interested too:

Back in the early 1800’s there was a well to do family in New England by the name of Fishburn. They lived in Boston I believe, and had two wonderful children, Gordon & Fannie. The children were happy, but sickly, and had to spend most of their free time indoors. Fannie’s favorite things in the whole world were her Monopoly game, and building doll houses out of cardboard. Gordon loved his Play-Doh Fun Factory and his goldfish. He had hundreds of goldfish in bowls all around his room.

Gordon had a habit of forgetting to put his Play-Doh away after playing and was always asking his father to buy more. One day his father had enough and told Gordon “no more, use what you have”.

Gordon also had a problem of over feeding his fish. So there were massive fish kills from overfeeding but they also reproduced like crazy so Gordon had plenty of fish at all times. Now Gordon, being a resourceful child, but forgetful, soon ran out of Play-Doh that wasn’t hard as a brick. And he had so many dead goldfish he didn’t know what to do. He certainly did not want to let his father know about that.

Yep you guessed it. Gordon began running the dead goldfish through the Play-Doh Fun Factory and then freezing his favorite shapes. And that my friends was the start of Gorton Fish Sticks. (Gordon’s middle name was his mothers maiden name, Gorton)

Not sure what exactly happened to Fannie Mae (Mae was her middle name.) She married a fellow by the name of Buzz Lehman, who worked in the mortgage industry for a short time before going to work with his brother Todd in his pest control business.

Pura Vida!

(Hey, cut me some slack, I’m makin this crap up as I go along!)

Top 10 List!

Crabdaddy got a question for you. Why is it always gotta be top 10 list ? Why couldn’t it be like a top 136 list? Or a top 6 list ? I admit 10 is a fine number and Crabdaddy liked the movie a lot. (Our younger readers would not remember, but believe me she was a 10)

But how bout we just do a top 1 list. It would save time. Now let me explain. It is not very often Crabdaddy cares what your top “10″ is. If my “1″ and your “1″ ain’t the same I ‘m movin on cause you a dumbass. At least on the subject we top 10en about. (I don’t mean you a dumbass really, you probably smarter than Crabdaddy on something!)

Let’s just take an example, say ………………beer.

Question: “What is your top 1 list of beers?”

Answer: “I don’t really like beer”

See, you a dumbass, why would Crabdaddy hang with you. ( Unless you like Scotch, then we could be best buds.)

Ok, nother example say……………….football.

Question: “What is your top 1 football team?” ( I know the grammar is wrong , just tryin to work in “top 1″ for the example)

Answer: “I don’t really like football”

Now you really a dumbass, Crabdaddy ain’t got nothing to talk to you about, not football, not beer, not nothing. We can both just move along.

Do you see how much time we have saved?

The one exception Crabdaddy will make is David Letterman’s Top 10. (Even they ain’t funny all the time, call me Dave I can help) Crabdaddy would like to buy Dave a Grape Fanta. Dave is cool. Pura Vida! & Happy New Year!

(How long we gotta keep up the Happy New Year stuff ?)

A Few Things I Would Like To Hear or See in 2009!

Here are a few things Crabdaddy hopes to see or hear in 2009! He would love to hear yours!

1: Someone connected with the BCS & the NCAA tell the truth about why we don’t have a playoff in college football’s top division. (Don’t give me that “student athlete crap” you bunch of greedy old farts, you think Crabdaddy’s a dumbass)

A: The Price is Right’s showcase winner get screwed when they pass on the first showcase. (Let em bid on a weedeater and a igloo cooler and that’s it. (” I’d like to bid $129 Drew!”) (That’ll teach your dumbass)

B: A politician answer a direct question, and answer honestly. ( I guess this is a two parter)

3: Crabdoggy come when I call him. ( Hopefully in front of someone so’s we impress em.)

D: People really follow the “Golden Rule”. Not just pretend.

4: A contestant on “Deal or No Deal” take the first offer.

F: A reporter on TV ask an intelligent question.

7: Someone in government actually take responsibility for something, anything! ( And stop this crap about the politicians being public servants. Grandcrabdaddy used to take the cows to get serviced too, I think thats a more accurate description of how they serving us.)

8: Britney, Lindsay, & Paris behave long enough for the media to focus on something that matters.

G: A family member of a contestant on “Deal or No Deal” NOT say “he / she deserves the money”. ( Cause they don’t. That’s Howie’s money and the more he got the more of them girls opening the cases he got. ” You go Howie”, this is one dumb ass game show.)

9: Damn , lost count again, could have sworn that was 10 things but we only on number 9. How about some of you list some stuff. Happy New Year & Pura Vida! And remember Grape Fanta is quite refreshing!

Cure for Crabdoggy.

Crabdoggy Got The Fungus

Crabdoggy got the fungus. But Crabdoggy is getting better. With regular trips to the Vet , showers, and shots at home we are winning this fight over the fungus.

It has been a struggle for us at times but we are stronger for it. I have learned a lot about Crabdoggy. Like President Bush said about the Russian President Putin, “I have looked into his eyes”.

And do you know what I saw? I saw Crabdoggy was gonna bite the shit outa me if I got that needle close to his ass again. So I went and got the muzzle and Augustin and some more people and we held his ass down.

After it was over he was still pissed at everyone who was involved but we had a treat and it was all better soon. I had a Grape Fanta, they are quite refreshing.

Pura Vida! and Happy New Year!

Dried Meat !

Fish Drying

How many time have you said to yourself, “I wish I had some dried meat and a Fanta Grape (they are quite refreshing!) If you are like me it happens almost everyday. Well read on my little friend, Crabdaddy gonna fix you up.

The young man you see in the picture is begining the process of drying fish. All you need are a few simple household items. Meat, bicycle, string, and salt. It is simple. Tie your meat of choice to your bicycle with the string. (Be sure it is secure, if it falls off then you gotta start all over and the meat gets dirty) Then you just ride like hell till the meat gets dry. What you are trying to do is get the meat parallel to the road and hold it there for approximately 15 minutes per pound of meat. The guy in the picture is gonna be ridding a long time.

There are many things that I have learned over the years to speed things up like drilling a hole in the back of the meat to let the air flow through more evenly. You can do this with fish and pigs (not too big) chickens too. I have dried as many as 6 chickens at a time but I gotta tell ya Crabdaddy ain’t big on salted chicken. It’s takes 2 Fanta grapes to wash that taste away. Even though they are quite refreshing. Cows don’t work too well cause the back legs get tangled in the spokes. (Busted Crabdaddy’s ass once and chewed up them cows) And hamburger don’t work at all unless you got an open weave bag to put the meat in.

I tell you ,if you wanna do beef just go on down to quick mart and get you a damn Slim Jim . It’s a lot easier take it from me.

Once you got your meat dried it’s time for the salt. Take your meat of choice and fill it up with salt then store it in a cool dry place. And thats it. Done!

Now some of you are saying “Crabdaddy I don’t like salted meat.” And to you I say, “do not worry.” All you gotta do is wait until it starts raining then take your meat out and clean off all the salt and wash em out real good. Tie em back onto your bike and ride like hell. Remember parallel to the road for 15 minutes per pound. Your meat will be so good and tender like the day it was caught , stolen, or run over. Unless you did something wrong in the process. Then you gonna be sick as shit.

And yes, you can use a motorcycle instead of a bike, but thats like using an electric ice cream maker vs. hand crank, or gas vs. charcoal grill, it just don’t taste the same. (But I gotta tell you if you got a lot of meat to dry you can’t beat a Kawasaki Ninja. You can cut that drying time by 75%)

Now I shouldn’t have to even say this but some of you are like family to me. You know dumb asses (see earlier post) so here goes. Do not attempt this on a dirt road! Your meat gonna fill up with dust and even Fanta Grape don’t wash that taste away . But it is quite refreshing.

I hope this has been helpful, Pura Vida!

Party’s Over

Crabdoggy Before the Fungus

Well, kids gotta go home today so we are taking them to San Jose. We had a great visit with them but all the food is gone and the credit cards are full so I guess it’s time. Crabmommy will be crying all the way back so it will be a long day.

I’m posting a picture of crabdoggy before he got the fungus. He gonna be pissed again when he finds out we are going.  Pura Vida!

The BIG NEWS

First let me say I have spent hours & hours researching this story. I am ready to just let the facts speak for themselves and you be the judge.

I think I saw Brad & Angelina at TuruBaRi last week. There, I said it. Ok now let me explain.

After the 3 hour tour me and princesses mom were waiting on the kids to do the zip line tour. There were a couple of “dudes” pull up in a tricked out Hummer. Not something we see a lot of here. #1 dude looks like he sells guns, watches and makes loans. #2 dude looks like a bodyguard, big guy. Ok so no big deal, then we see them. A young good looking couple. And they are walking all around the place making movies. Well at first I didn’t think much because they left…..I thought. Then I see them walking up from the other parking lot still making movies. They must have stayed there 45 minutes. Ok, then they ALL get in the Hummer and drive off, the dude, the bodyguard and “the couple”.

Then it dawns on me, this may have been Brad & Angelina. You know they say people look different on TV and in the movies than they do in real life and this couple didn’t look anything like Brad & Angelina do on TV and in the movies.

That was the first clue.

And they were “making movies” and B & A are “in the movies”. Clue 2!

I went back the next day to kinda see what I could find out and everyone acted as if they didn’t know “what” I was talking about. You know pretended they didn’t understand English, ha, second clue. No wait third clue.

Then I contacted my contacts in the US and none of them had see em. Clue number….wait maybe 5th clue. (Dam lost count.)

Some of you may be doubting me and my logic. Ask yourself, did you see Brad & Angelina over the Christmas Holiday? Ha thought not!

Are Brad & Angelina more likely to come to your neighborhood or Cost Rica? Ha! clue # ….. ok not really a clue just a thought.

If it was Brad & Angelina I want to go on record as saying I am sorry I did not introduce myself. I would love to buy them a grape Fanta . They are quite refreshing.

If it wasn’t Brad & Angelina, I want to go on record as inviting them to stay with us on their next trip. We got a pool, we got a hot tub, we got pigs, we got it going on!

Pura Vida.

Family

Crabdaddy has a dumb ass family. I love em, but dumb asses we are. Here is how I discovered it. You tell me what you think.

#1: We are lily white.

#A: We are in Costa Rica, 10 degrees above the equator.

#2 : We spent 5-6 hours on the beach yesterday.

#C: We got sunburned and were surprised.

See what I mean, dumbass.

The conversation last night was like this. “Your red, hey you are too, hey I got burned”, what time are we leaving tomorrow?” I’m not kidding. They found some places that weren’t burned so off they went about 10 minutes ago, back to the beach.

Me and crabdoggy are staying here. I gotta work on “the big news” and look after crabdoggy. Pura Vida

Oop’s Big Mistake

Crabboat

Crabdaddy is really sorry but he made a big mistake on the earlier post today and thanks to your comments he just realized it. This is, or was the actual crabboat. The one in front.

The picture of the one below was a mix up. Crabdaddy is very embarrassed. But we swapped the crabboat today for 3 pigs a chicken and some food for crabdoggy.

We named the pigs “Allstar, Sunrise Sampler , and #1 With Bacon”.

Crabdaddy got really burned at the beach, I gotta go find some aloe now and an Imperial.

Manuel Antonio

So today we are going to Manuel Antonio….I think.  The dog was fine yesterday but did need to be looked after.  Crabdoggy was pissed when we got back cause I left him all day.  (He gonna be really pissed when he finds out I’m going today too.)

We had a good time at Los Suenos.  They were working on my boat so I was kinda bummed by that.  I was hoping to take the kids out but I guess they will have to wait until next visit.  I did want you to see a pic of the boat though. Thats it down below cause Crabdaddy don’t know how to move stuff around yet on this bog er blog.  It’s pretty sweet.

We all ate cause the gambling didn’t start until 6:00 pm and Crabdaddy don’t do “night”.  Came back by the High Tide Bar and ran into some friends and had a nice visit with them.

Still working on the big news, please be patient,  want to make sure.  Pura Vida!

Crabboat!

Day After

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and now it’s off to the malls! Not me though. Nope, not going. Know why? Two reasons. Number 1: No money. And “A” : No malls.

I’m going to the beach. Yeah we are taking the kids to a place called Manuel Antonio. If you have ever been to Costa Rica you have heard of it I bet. It is a National Park and it is beautiful. We are all looking forward to it. I hope to have some pics tomorrow.

Crabdaddy doesn’t do beach very often. I really like the beach a lot but I burn easily. I’m working on the tan though. When I first moved here I was transparent I now I am opaque. Pura Vida!

Ok, big change of plans. One of the dogs is hurt (it’s Luna, not Crabdoggy) and has to go to the vet. So we put off Manuel Antonio until tomorrow. Instead we are going to Los Suenos to have lunch and gamble. Crabdaddy don’t have money for both so when we get there we will determine who’s hungry and who’s lucky.

And by the way, I am working on a story. I don’t want to break it too soon because I am still checking some sources, but we may have had a celebrity sighting the other day when we were at TuruBaRi. I’m pretty sure who it was but can’t say just yet. I don’t want this to become an “Entertainment News” blog, enough of them as it is. But this is big.

Pura Vida again!

Christmas Weather!

Doppler

People always ask how the weather is in Costa Rica. This is the Crabdaddy weather station. In the dry season I use the rain gauge to mix drinks.

It’s 90 and sunny by the way. I’m thirsty and it ain’t raining, hello rain gauge.

Merry Christmas!

Ok, so we got up and did presents and yes Santa does come to Costa Rica.  I don’t know how he does it.  We can’t even get princesses  new GPS to work.  There just isn’t room to type in my address.  It’s “50 meters north of the Church in San something”. Yep thats the address anyway she liked it and thats what counts.  Princesses mom is making banana bread  and boyfriend has gone back to sleep.

Hope to skype the boys in a bit, they are probably both recovering from a long winters “nip” last night.  So all is good at the Crabdaddy shack.  Merry Christmas!

Ok, they were like this.

For Stef & Alicia

Ok, this is what they looked like.  I can’t take a pic of the cereal box because I have been wearing it when I ride the mule and it kinda got torn up.  But when they get more at SuperMega in Parrita you bet I will get one and post it.

I took this one at TuruBaRi yesterday, dude was tame. Or blind.

TuruBaRi ! WOW!

The place was amazing.  All of us loved it.  We did the Superman, the nature walk, and the canopy tour. Had a wonderful lunch and just the “best”day.  I would take  friends or recommend this place to everyone.  I could not bring myself to do the “Superman” for the second time because that would have meant I did it the first time.  I saw it on the tram over to the nature walk. Are you kidding me?  I’m scared of heights. But the kids LOVED it.  While me and princess’s mom were sitting waiting on princess & boyfriend  to do the canopy  I must have seen a dozen people “take off”.  It was great!

It truly was a day of “firsts”.  It was the first time the kids did Superman, it was the first time I went a whole day without pissing off princesses mom (amazing) , it was the first time me &  boyfriend ate termites.  Yep we ate termites.  Boyfriend will eat anything.  It’s kinda fun to just give him stuff, you know, “here try this”.  Once his head kinda swelled up, I really felt bad till it went down…………..sigh.  First time I ate something that wasn’t chicken that someone didn’t say “it taste like chicken” .  Take it form me termites don’t taste like chicken.  They taste like a combination of pine & dirt, course the dirt part may have been dirt I don’t know.

Well I’m gonna go now but thanks again to all of you who commented on Superman, you were right  the park is great.  Oh and no,  I’m not going to take boyfriend to see chocolate wrestling in Jaco.  Boyfriend’s mom and princess would not like that. I think I will go and find some more stuff to get him to eat.  Pura Vida!

Merry Christmas!

TuruBaRi Today!

See if you can say that fast 3 times!  So today we go, we are getting ready even as we speak err type.   Thanks for your comments , they really helped with our decision.  There are so many things to do  and see here in Costa Rica  when you have limited time  you want to be sure and pick the best ones!

It was good to hear from my friend Stef.  Stef if you will look to the right and click “The Mule” you will see “The Mule” and I’m going to work on more pics , promise.

Only bummer today has been boyfriend left the freezer door cracked on the fridge last night.  Yep it all melted. Sigh……….. Well, I really like boyfriend so it’s ok.  We will have a little talk  and I’m sure I will get my point across.  Heck  daughter & boyfriend had already eaten most everything in there.  I may have lost 6 Eggo waffles. I like Eggo waffles. Sigh…………….

Oh well, it’s off to TuruBaRi!  Pura Vida!

Toucans in my yard!

We made the trip to Jaco yesteday to show the kids.  Did a little shopping , ate lunch at a restaurant right on the  beach and just walked around.  Stopped in the “Cigar Shop” and bought a few.  The guy was really nice and helpful.

So then we come home and are just sitting around when I look out and there is a huge toucan.  Well it’s huge in the sense it’s the biggest I have seen in my back yard.  So after a bit the mate flies up.  They must have stayed 20 minutes grooming and eating and just doing whatever birds do.  I tried to look up on the internet to see what kind they were but no luck. One site says there are 40 varieties, another says 12, and another says 20.  I will wait until the bird dudes nail that down to figure it out. All I know is they were toucans, cause I verified that with the cereal box, and they were cool.

Pura Vida!

Canopy Tour

So we made our reservations for TuruBaRi zip line and everyone is looking forward to that.  Thanks for your comments.

Today I think we are going to Jaco to do a little shopping and have lunch.  I think we will try the Chiclets Canopy Tour if time permits.  I stopped in there a couple of weeks ago and they were really nice.  They had a bunch of platforms and lines and it sounded really good.

Last night we sat around the fire pit, had some beers and just talked.  We even wound up eating dinner there.  It was great,  I guess the smoke kept the bugs away or at least drove them all to my house where they were waiting for me when we went home.  But being in the mountains at night in Costa Rica and sitting around a fire and just talking is something special.  The sounds, the smell of the fire, the stars, they all combine to make for a very special moment.  If you have the chance, I recommend it.

Made It!

Well, here we are at home in the mountains of Costa Rica with my daughter and her boyfriend (henceforth known as “the kids”).  We spent yesterday going to and returning from the San Jose airport which on a good day takes about 6 hours.  Yesterday it took about 9 hours but that included a trip to the grocery store so it was about normal I guess.  It was your typical drive slow cars, slower trucks and spectacular mountain views.